Chicagoetry: The Emperor's New Gown

THE EMPEROR'S NEW GOWN

I like
nice things.

A big house,
for starters.

I fancy
the subdivision

called Moral
Highgrounds.

Fellas! I expect
to be supported

in the manner to which
I am accustomed!

Of course, she'll
have to

buy my sex
with a legally-sanctioned guarantee

of lifetime
security

and a
regular supply

of pretty,
shiny things. O yeah.

I'm talking REGULARLY!
MY WEDDING!

YAY! A celebration
of ME, attended by

my bros
in otherwise-useless

mauve
suits. Register at

Tiffany's on the Mag Mile
and book your suite at the Hyatt Regency

in plenty
of time (well: if

you care
to remain

in Our Good
Graces).

After, and
ONLY after

the expensive, tasteless,
gaudy, public Kow-Tow

to Our Grand
Romance, I'll

then divulge
my vasectomy AND

my "spontaneous"
decision to stop

working (NO:
we can't

sell the
house!). She'll have to

dump all
her friends

and adore
mine.

She'll have to
feign interest

in my interests (e.g.
football, gambling, strippers)

attend dinner parties
with my fellow

Monster Brides
and GO SHOPPING!

WOO-
HOO!

After all,
I'm only

a
man.

-

J. J. Tindall is the Beachwood's poet-in-residence. He can reached at jjtindall@yahoo.com. Chicagoetry is an exclusive Beachwood collection-in-progress.