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Celebrating Olympic DayBy The Beachwood Hokey Celebrations Affairs Desk Today is "Olympic Day," and Chicago 2016 officials have a fun-filled day in store for you. So do we. * Buy something you can't afford on your credit card * Tell your spouse not to worry about your checking account because you're going to buy an insurance policy as a buffer. * Put some skin in the game. Tell Vito on Grand Avenue that the Beachwood sent you. * Use today as a teaching lesson for your kids about how and why adults lie. * Petition the Sun-Times for a new poll: Which has hotter fans, badminton or pole-vaulting? * Use your more recent property tax bill to help ignite an Olympic flame. * Go to your alderman's office, bend over, say thank you, and ask for another. * Spray paint a parking meter with the Olympic colors. * Refer all questions to your spokesman. * Take out a huge mortgage on someone else's house. * Displace a poor person, just for practice. * Invite some strangers over to trash your house. * Create a TIF fund out of your kids' allowance. * Act like true Chicagoans: Just let Daley decide for you. - Marty Gangler, Ivana Susic, Steve Yaccino, Rick Kaempfer, Tim Willette, Andrew Reilly, Steve Rhodes - - Reader Submissions: 1. From Beachwood reader Mark: Be a part of the excitement - bulldoze a few giant Xs into your own alley. 2. From Mike Knezovich: Build a temporary scale-model Olympic stadium out of Legos. 3. From Beachwood reader Chris: Ride the CTA at rush hour. Earn a 3-minute penalty every time the train waits for signals up ahead. 4. From Beachwood reader Jim: Pay three times the amount shown on the initial price tag for everything you buy.
Posted on June 23, 2009 |
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