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Cab #5364

Date: 4/11/09
From: Roscoe Village
To: West Loop

The Cab: Clean, open and unguarded in that burglar-shield-free way that increasingly seems like some bold political statement. Radio set to down-demographed rock station playing an ear-bleeding song by Pink when the ride commenced. No, the other ear-bleeding song by Pink. No, no, that other one. Whatever. It's not going to matter in a minute or two.

The Driver: Enjoy him while you can, because he's moving back to Bosnia. What he's going to miss here, can you tell him? Working 80, 90 hours a week? Pay this, pay that? No thank you. He have crazy ride sometimes, you know? Go from O'Hare to Milwaukee airport. He think she just means Milwaukee Street and then she say Milwaukee, Wisconsin, and he tell her, "lady, Wisconsin and Milwaukee don't go together." So funny. She want to sit up front, but he tell her "No thank you." Maybe go an hour, find out she psycho, you know? Say "You have nice color eyes," yeah, which one? Left eye or right eye, you know? Crazy! She left her credit card. Oh man. Crazy. Another time, pick up at O'Hare and guy say he wants to go Aurora. No problem, 25 miles, it's OK. He don't know where is hotel, Korean guy, English is not so good, Driver #5364 say, "Give me phone number I can call." Phone number starting 815. 815? 847, 630, this suburban number. 815? He go East Peoria. Driver tell him, "Brother, you got to take a train," but he say, no, no, no, he want to go. Seven hours. Guy just sleep, Driver smoking whole time. Crazy. Driver doesn't care, he's flying vacation in Europe next day. Does reviewer have boyfriend? Husband? Kids? What she waiting for? Got to have two, at least two, three. Ask reviewer's mother. Ask her father. He tell you. Enjoy your night, enjoy, Driver will be back in Bosnia soon. Whole time he talking to you, half his heart in Bosnia. Good night.

The Driving: No idea.

Overall rating: 4.5 extended arms

- Natasha Julius


There are more than 6,000 cabs in the city of Chicago. We intend to review every one of them.


Posted on April 16, 2009

MUSIC - Chief Keef Changed The Industry.
TV - Vizio's Best Product Is You.
POLITICS - UIC: Soda Taxes Work.
SPORTS - More McCaskey Malpractice.

BOOKS - All About Poop.


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