Cab #5321

Date Taken: 07/06/07
From: Wicker Park
To: River North

The Cab: Clean, but not fussily so. I'm guessing the driver, however, is unaware of the Transformers sticker behind him on the back of the bench seat. Perhaps this is viral cab marketing.

The Driver: I really didn't notice the presence of a driver. And yet, our interactions with a particular CTA bus was reminiscent of Peter Griffin vs. The Giant Chicken.

The Driving: Okay, this bus is haunting us. Or are we haunting it? First, almost a collision as the bus merges as we accelerate. Second, we almost slam into the back of the bus as traffic grinds to a half on a congested-as-usual North Avenue. Third, we (we? I guess feeling unsure that a driver is actually present, I somehow feel responsible for telepathically guiding the cab) try to swerve around the bus as it switches to the right lane to make a stop but leaves its rear hanging out while the light ahead turns yellow and we step on the gas. We don't make it. So, sudden stop again.

On the Kennedy, it takes three attempts at the good ol' forced merge to get into the right lane so we can exit at Ohio. Ohio is a mess. Driver #5321 throws up his hands as if to show it's not his fault. Hey, there he is! Nice of you to join us!

The Playlist: Hey, it's that Paula Abdul snake song. Er, wait, it's not that one it's the other one. Let me tell you something, Paula Abdul: He's just having fun. And now, "West End Girls." What is this, WLIT? I'm not sure I've ever heard that station in a cab before. Maybe this is all a dream.

Overall rating: 1 extended arm.

- Steve Rhodes

There are more than 6,000 cabs in the city of Chicago. We intend to review every one of them.

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