Chicago - Dec. 13, 2017
Music TV Politics Sports Books People Places & Things
 
Beachwood PP&T
Our monthly PP&T archive.
Chicagoetry
Rhymes for the Times.
Beachwood Bookmarks
So You've Decided To Be Evil
Vintage Beer Signs
Easy Bar Tricks
Best of Craigslist
Wacky Packages
Chicagology
Taquitos Snack Food Reviews
How Products Are Made
Everyday Mysteries
Chicago Zombie
FAIL
Texts From Last Night
Fuck My Life
Awkward Family Photos
QuackWatch
Alcademics
Lamebook
Ultra Local Geography
Uncyclopedia
Best Pinball Machine Ever
Land of Sky Beer Waters
Calumet 412
Chicago Patterns
Vince Michael's Time Tells

Cab #3067

Date Taken: 4/27/07
From: Roscoe Village
To: Old Irving

The Cab: Heavily fortified and upholstered in rich tobacco hues. Fort Knox-style rear doors. Maybe it was the deep-gauge vinyl seat covering, but the whole thing seemed thicker than a normal cab.

The Driver: Boasted a polite demeanor and smoking-hot physical appearance, yet remained a study in perpetual twitchery. Changed radio stations at least once per block. First it was a Bulls game, then a Sox game, then smooth jazz, then classic rock. A full accounting was impossible as the one-handed dial flipping was punctuated frequently with bursts of the car's horn that outlasted the station selection. The red-rimmed eyes and constant nose-rubbing could charitably be explained as the result of a particularly virulent allergy attack, but factor in the suspicious rear-view mirror stare-downs and general air of paranoia and, well . . . let's just say that had Driver #3067 been more than a passing acquaintance, the northwest corner of Irving and California might have been fertile staging ground for an impromptu intervention.

The Driving: Smooth and proficient. Accented with appropriate bursts of well-measured aggression. Every traffic-avoidance maneuver was a complete success.

Overall rating: 4 extended arms. What? He was hot.

- Natasha Julius

There are more than 6,000 cabs in the city of Chicago. We intend to review every one of them.



Permalink

Posted on April 30, 2007


MUSIC - The Weekend In Chicago Rock.
TV - Cricket vs. Brexit.
POLITICS - Corporate Spies Like Us.
SPORTS - Why Was This Game Even Scheduled?

BOOKS - Postdictatorship Argentina.

PEOPLE PLACES & THINGS - Public Lands Matter.


Search The Beachwood Reporter

Subscribe To Our Newsletter
Email:

Follow BeachwoodReport on Twitter



Beachwood Radio!


Ask Me Anything!



Wool and Hoop