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Another Beachwood Halloween

Remember all the fun you had with last year's Beachwood Halloween costumes? Well, we're back for more this year. Here are ten simple, inexpensive costume ideas for grown-ups ripped out of this year's headlines.

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1. Larry Craig
Bald wig, business suit, toilet paper stuck to shoe.
Sample party comment: "I am not gay. But that doesn't mean I'm not willing to try."

2. Lisa Nowak
Wear a flight suit/jump suit, a NASA baseball hat, and groan inappropriately.
Sample party comment: "Oh, is there a line waiting to get in the bathroom? Hadn't noticed."

3. Mark Prior
A #22 Cubs jersey, a Cubs hat, and a sling for your arm.
Sample party comment: "I would have had this at my house, but my doctor told me not to 'throw' a party at all this off-season."

4. George Bush 2005-2007
Write the numbers 2005-2007 on the forehead of your George Bush mask, then tape a picture of Alberto Gonzales on the back of your pants so it "covers your ass."
Sample party comment: "Mind if I conduct a little unlawful 'surveillance' on that hot blonde over there?"

5. Keith Richards
Wear a bandana on your head, hold a cigarette in one hand, and carry an urn under your arm.
Sample party comment: "Who wants a hit of my dad?"

6. Michael Vick
This costume will never be cheaper than it is right now. His jerseys are going for about $10 on eBay.
Sample party comment: "What's up, dawg?"

7. Rudy Guiliani
Wear a bald wig and a business suit, hunch your back, and plan your arrival time down to the minute.
Sample party comment: "Sorry we're so late . . . is it already 9:11?"

8. O.J. Simpson
Did you really think you wouldn't be able to use that black knit cap and black gloves costume again?
Sample party comment: "Who wants to help me get my pretzels back from that lady's plate over there?"

9. Ann Coulter
Wear a long blonde wig, a short black skirt, and a gigantic chip on your shoulder.
Sample party comment: "Your deli tray is almost perfect!"

And of course, this one from last year's list will work for at least two more Halloweens . . .

10. President Bush's War Strategy
Wear a "NO EXIT" sign around your neck and never leave.
Sample party comment: "Nice try, but turning out the lights is not going to work. I'm not going anywhere."

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Your suggestions welcome between now and Oct. 31. Urkel as Todd Stroger not accepted.

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This list also appears this week at Rick Kaempfer's.



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Posted on October 22, 2007


MUSIC - Muddy Waters Museum Has Mojo.
TV - WGN Now Trump TV.
POLITICS - Europe's Better Way Of Picking Judges.
SPORTS - White Sox Playoff Panic.

BOOKS - The Astonishing World Of The Penis.

PEOPLE PLACES & THINGS - Beverly Hills Wants You.


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