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Inside Chicago's New AT&T Store

"AT&T is planning a new flagship retail location in Chicago that will sport video walls, showrooms, mock household environments and a distinct Apple flavor," Mashable reports.

First, their video. Then, the Beachwood's exclusive look inside the new store.


Here's our exclusive look inside:

* Watch AT&T engineers make up new charges for your bill as you watch from behind a bulletproof glass mirror.

* Admission is "free" but by stepping into the store you agree to terms of service that only our lawyers understand.

* Each new G will cost a G.

* Everyone who enters the story will be acquired in a "merger."

* All representatives are busy; your purchase will be handled in the order of the line you are standing in.

* Instead of a Genius Bar, there will be a Dummy Dungeon.

* The aPhone is totally not a ripoff.

* Express your frustrations in the U-Verse poetry room.

* Watch third-world workers build your products via our new teleconferencing technology!

* In order to localize the store, the latest in wiretap technology

* Famous phone taps!

* By entering the store you agree to allow us to collect and sell all personal information to the highest bidders in perpetuity as well as supply the federal government with your innermost thoughts.


Comments welcome.


Posted on September 5, 2012

MUSIC - Chief Keef Changed The Industry.
TV - Vizio's Best Product Is You.
POLITICS - UIC: Soda Taxes Work.
SPORTS - More McCaskey Malpractice.

BOOKS - All About Poop.


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