Chicago - Dec. 18, 2007
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Genesis Limousine Purchased

By The Beachwood Personal Luxury Services Affairs Desk
Clients can enjoy luxury, comfort, safety, and tranquility as they meet with business associates, friends, or loved ones

Posted on June 29, 2007

Open Letter

Dear Lake Forest:
Even the children of Lake Forest, it seems, are not good enough for Lake Forest.

Posted on June 26, 2007

The Secret Life of Joey "the Clown" Lombardo: Part 3

He loved all of the trappings of being a mobster, including the old-timer's idea that you settle disputes - we have a sit-down and Joey settles things in the neighborhood.

Posted on June 20, 2007

Open Letter

Dear Todd Stroger:
By your logic, mayors, governors and senators could be disappearing right and left for face lifts, tummy tucks, breast enlargement, and you-know-what enlargement. And we would never know why they were gone.

Posted on June 20, 2007

The Secret Life of Joey "the Clown" Lombardo: Part 2

Every time somebody who reported to Joey got in trouble, he just blamed that particular guy for the problem and got permission to have him whacked. Obviously, you didn't want to work for Lombardo.

Posted on June 19, 2007

The Secret Life of Joey "the Clown" Lombardo: Part 1

Lombardo was the guy the DeNiro and Pesci characters in Casino reported to in real life. He goes on trial this week.

Posted on June 18, 2007

Awesome Amplitude Range

By The Beachwood Amplitude Affairs Desk
Of course, our new Chanalyzer(TM) 2.1 software takes full advantage of the higher resolution with improved graphics, powerful new play-thru controls, and an even friendlier user interface. Not compatible, however, with cable.

Posted on June 14, 2007

Left Lane Drivers Unite!

By The Beachwood Left Lane Affairs Desk
Bottom Line: Moving over is a matter of courtesy.

Posted on June 12, 2007

Cab #2699

As we drove over the expressway he extended his right arm in a sweeping gesture and inhaled deeply. "Dat is de Kennedy," he said. I curled into a loose fetal position.

Posted on June 07, 2007

Letter From Tampa

By ML Van Valkenburgh
I miss Chicago a ton. I miss its vitality and its edginess and its attitude. I miss the Flying Saucer and the Beachwood Inn. I even miss my crappy apartment. But I love Skipper's Smokehouse on Thursday nights and those Gulf sunsets.

Posted on June 06, 2007

Cab #6422

A pro who uses every inch of available roadway - and attendant vertical air rights.

Posted on June 01, 2007

MUSIC - Disco Tex meets Scatman Crothers. In Out of Sight: 1975.
TV - And Then There's Maude: Marijuana mama.
POLITICS - Oprah, don't do it! A Beachwood carol.
SPORTS - Kyle Orton is who we thought he was. In Bear Tuesday.

BOOKS - Why both the Democrats and Starbucks suck. In Reviewing the Reviews.

PEOPLE PLACES & THINGS - On the 5th day of Christmas, the Beachwood brought you lingerie.

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