Chicago - Mar. 17, 2010
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F My Life

Jobs For The Zombie Apocalypse

By Drew Adamek

I've been poking around the Internet for a new job lately. I'm overwhelmed by the amount of information available. There are pointers and tips available for almost any job seeker, in any position, in any geographic location. Before I am even able to apply for a job, I need to decide if I am a post-industrial worker, in the market for a new media job, or looking for a 100K career (yes, yes and yes).

Sites like Yahoo, MSN and AOL compile my favorite job tip lists. We've all seen them; the ten most recession-proof jobs, the ten most in-demand careers, ten jobs for a new economy. I get them on my e-mail home page all the time, and even though I know I shouldn't, I always click through to them.

I've noticed some similarities in this type of list: Looking for a job in the failed housing economy of the Southeast? Become a nurse. Looking for a post-meltdown job on Wall Street? Become a nurse. Want a high tech job in Silicon Valley? Become a nurse.

These lists are helpful in their way, but I don't want to become a nurse.

Plus, I am a worst-case scenario kind of guy. I am not planning for an economic collapse or another tech bubble; what really worries me is the coming Zombie Apocalypse. An advanced degree in European film studies or Social Media Marketing isn't going to do me any good when the dead rise from their graves to feed upon the living. Humanity will need people who can build things from scratch, with little or no natural resources, all while running from flesh-eating hordes.

Here, then, are ten jobs for the coming Zombie Apocalypse:

Continue reading "Jobs For The Zombie Apocalypse" »
Posted on March 17, 2010
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Flying Saucer Restaurant
Taxicab Journals

Cab #202

Cab #202 is the new Cab 4:20.
Continue reading "Cab #202" »
Posted on October 19, 2009
Open Letter

Open Letter

Lighting up a chemical jihad.
Continue reading "Open Letter" »
Posted on December 11, 2009
Life At Work

I Am A Security Guard: The Roaring 20s

By Jerome Haller
I resisted the urge to shove his face through the door. Instead, I called the police.
Continue reading "I Am A Security Guard: The Roaring 20s" »
Posted on March 9, 2010

The Worst Jobs I've Ever Had

By Drew Adamek
I've had jobs that left me scared for my life, angry at an unfair God and questioning whether humanity shouldn't just die in a nuclear holocaust. And for $4.15 an hour at that

Posted on March 16, 2010

Chicagoetry: Carl Sandburg and Marilyn Monroe

By J.J. Tindall
Gods often die this way.

Posted on March 15, 2010

United #7002 / 6476 / 481

By Mike Luce
There was a rumor of "snack boxes" on #481 but they never materialized. Either that or I slept through them.

Posted on March 11, 2010

Life's Little Victories

By Drew Adamek
Not asking for alot.

Posted on March 12, 2010

A List Of Reader Comments To Drew's Lists

By Drew Adamek
My father, my wife, my brother and the District of Columbia weigh in.

Posted on March 10, 2010

Delta #1972

By Mike Luce
My attendant didn't bat an eye when I paid for my bourbon-and-diet with a United Visa card.

Posted on March 8, 2010

Why I'm Glad I Don't Live In D.C. Anymore

By Drew Adamek
For starters, Manhattan prices for Rolling Meadows charm.

Posted on March 5, 2010

Why Milwaukee Rules

By Drew Adamek
Bands, drunks, sausages.

Posted on March 4, 2010

Goodbye, American Gothic People

By Steve Rhodes
A mesmerizing work moves on.

Posted on March 3, 2010

Cities I've Slept In

By Drew Adamek
I was afraid the boss was gonna make me pay for the room!

Posted on March 2, 2010

EPA's Secret Chocolate Documents Revealed!

By Steve Yaccino
Three years later, our FOIA request is fulfilled - except the one thing we wanted to know most.

Posted on March 1, 2010

Their Chicago

By Drew Adamek
What other people talk about when they talk about Chicago.

Posted on February 26, 2010

Southwest #1189

By Mike Luce
Cheap red wine and non-honey roasted peanuts.

Posted on February 24, 2010

Pancakes With Miss Illinois

By The Beachwood Pancake Affairs Desk
A 20-mile high stack of charity flapjacks.

Posted on February 23, 2010

Things I Miss About Chicago

By Drew Adamek
Blaming the CTA and bathing at Harold Washington Library.

Posted on February 22, 2010

Work Weirdos: A List

By Drew Adamek
Mr. Freeze, The Storm God and Me.

Posted on February 19, 2010

Shit My Dad Says

By Drew Adamek
Sitcom this.

Posted on February 17, 2010

Chicagoetry: St. Catherine of My Cock

By J.J. Tindall
Queen Slut of Babylon.

Posted on February 16, 2010

MUSIC - Playlist: Like A Cloud.
TV - 24 Hours With The DIY Network.
POLITICS - Grading Daley.
SPORTS - What Alexei Ramirez and Aramis Ramirez have in common. In Fantasy Fix.

BOOKS - The Moral Underground.

PEOPLE PLACES & THINGS - Jobs For The Zombie Apocalypse.

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