The [Chinese Democracy] Papers

What the reviews say.

*

Critic: Jim DeRogatis (Sun-Times)

Headline: "We Waited 17 Years For This?"

Golden Nugget: "With the very rarest of exceptions, rock 'n' roll is a dish best served steaming hot."

Reference to Ishtar: Yes

Reference to Heaven's Gate: Yes

Is the problem that Axl Rose sees himself as an artiste? Yes

Good Songs: "Chinese Democracy," "Shackler's Revenge," "Better," "Scraped," "Riad N' the Bedouins," "I.R.S."

Bad Songs: "If the World," "There Was a Time," Madagascar."

Worse Songs: "This I Love," "Street of Dreams."

Reference to Queen: Yes

Reference to Elton John: Yes

Reference to Bon Jovi: Yes

Assessment: "[T]wo out of four stars is as kind as I honestly can be."

*

Critic: Greg Kot (Tribune)

Headline: "Chinese Democracy: Appetite for Excess"

Golden Nugget: "Rose ended up with 14 tracks spread across 77 minutes. That's about 4.5 minutes of music a year."

Reference to Ishtar: No. But Miss Saigon.

Reference to Heaven's Gate: No. But Andrew Lloyd Webber.

Is the problem that Axl Rose sees himself as an artiste? Pretty much, but he also has a huge chip on his shoulder.

Good Songs: "Chinese Democracy," "Better," "If the World," "I.R.S."

Bad Songs: "This I Love," "Street of Dreams," "Madagascar," "There Was a Time."

Reference to Queen: Yes

Reference to Elton John: Yes

Reference to Bon Jovi: No. But Wings.

Assessment: "Rose throws everything he's got into these songs, but this shock-and-awe arrangements suggest he's really trying to cover something up."

*

Critic: Jon Pareles (New York Times)

Headline: "How Axl Rose Spent All That Time"

Golden Nugget: "Chinese Democracy is the Titanic of rock albums: the ship, not the movie."

Reference to Ishtar? No

Reference to Heaven's Gate? No

Is the problem that Axl Rose sees himself as an artiste? More that he has a huge chip on his shoulder.

Good Songs: "Shackler's Revenge."

So-So Songs: "Chinese Democracy," "Scraped," "If the World," "Riad N' the Bedouins."

Bad Songs: "This I Love."

Reference to Queen: Yes

Reference to Elton John: Yes

Reference to Bon Jovi: No

Assessment: "Chinese Democracy, though it's a remarkable artifact of excess, is a letdown."

*

Critic: Chuck Klosterman (A.V. Club)

Headline: "Chuck Klosterman Reviews Chinese Democracy"

Golden Nugget: "Throughout Chinese Democracy, the most compelling question is never, 'What was Axl doing here?' but 'What did Axl think he was doing here?'"

Reference to Ishtar? No

Reference to Heaven's Gate? No

Is the problem that Axl Rose sees himself as an artiste? Um, that seems to be a good thing here.

Astonishing Songs: "Chinese Democracy," "Shackler's Revenge," "I.R.S."

Very Good Songs: "Street of Dreams," "Sorry," "This I Love," "Catcher in the Rye."

Not As Good Songs: If the World," "Scraped," "Madagascar."

Reference to Queen: Yes

Reference to Elton John: Yes

Reference to Bon Jovi: No

Assessment: "Under any halfway normal circumstance, I would give it an A." (He gives it an A-.)

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