Inflight Radio: Delta

Recently, on a return trip from Salt Lake City, I had to get my musical kicks from the Delta Tunes after my iPod crapped out at 29,000 feet somewhere above Kansas. Here is a sampling of what I had to endure.

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Channel 5: Classical Masters and Cirque du Soliel Kooza
What was playing: La Boheme (Giacomo Puccini) Atlanta Symphony Orchestra & Chorus, Robert Spano, conductor. Also, Quando me'n vo', Musetta: Georgia Jarman, among others.
The Cirque soundtrack explores "universal themes of fear, identity, recognition and power."
What I heard: Since Salt Lake is a Delta hub, I am almost positive that both of these selections had added lines about the virtues of magic underwear in them to appease the LDS passengers. I'm not sure, however, since I don't speak opera or Mormon.

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Channel 6: Summer's Greatest Hits and Party in the Sky
What was playing: Many summer classics from my youth, like Chicago's "Saturday in the Park," "Groovin'" by the Rascals, and a recent classic, "Soak Up the Sun," by Sheryl Crow. Then, there were the not-so-classics performed by Miley Cyrus and Yves La Rock.
What I heard: Again, I swear I heard a few extra refrains about magic underwear and Mitt Romney, but then that could've been an after-affect of the Polygamy Porter I consumed over the weekend.

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Channel 7: Non-Stop Pop and Walt Disney Records' Rock the Summer.
What was playing: A profile of "critically acclaimed English singer/songwriter Ed Harcourt," Dido, John Mayer, and whiny Maroon 5. As for cringe-inducing Disney, a sibling of a famous child actor (Emily Osment) was featured along with Miley's purer alter ego, Hannah Montana, as well as strippers-in-training The Cheetah Girls.
What I heard: Pain.

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Channel 8: Smooth R&B and Delta Showcase
What was playing: "Sophisticated style," "lush lyricism" and "fresh new releases from world-renowned artists" like Sergio Mendes and Lalah Hathaway.
What I heard: Hathaway has a killer voice, but I couldn't really concentrate because I had this image of Mitt Romney practicing his awkward Republican male dance moves to Mendes. It's not a fun image, I know. It took a number of the $6 dollar Delta martinis to kill it.

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Channel 9: Tribute and Love Sees No Color.
What was playing: Ah, the politically correct portion of Delta's playlists. It's all about global rhythms and African artists celebrating U2.
What I heard: Angelique Kidjo's version of "Mysterious Ways" was better than the original. I'm a fan of Kidjo's. Also, Vieux Farka Toure's cover of "Bullet the Blue Sky" shows that talent does run in the family.

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Channel 10: Delta Lifestyles and Jazz After Hours
What was playing: Podcasts, celebrity interviews and radio interviews. Also, the latest from the jazz world.
What I heard: Nothing about magic underwear or Mitt Romney. I was overwhelmed with disappointment.

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Channel 11: Country Showcase and Country's Biggest Hits.
What was playing: Faith Hill, Brad Paisley, Frankenstein look-a-like Randy Travis and all of your country & western favorites!
What I heard: Nada. Zip. Zilch. I skipped it. My meth supply was hidden so I couldn't take any to get me through one note of this channel.

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Channel 12: Hard Rock Cafe and Sounds Eclectic
What was playing: The Boss, REM, Joss Stone and the uber-dreamy singer with the best name, Yoav.
What I heard: Bob Dylan and a couple of his songs covered by others.

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Compare Delta to United!

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