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Friday Night Beachwood

Jukebox run, 5-25-07.

1. Shining Star/Earth, Wind & Fire. So funky smooth and glide-y.

2. Scarborough Fair/Simon & Garfunkel. For some reason this song led to a debate about the name of the crime dog, determined to be McGruff. Says Beachwood Bob: "Did you play this Joe? Don't ever play it again."

3. El Condora Pasa/Simon & Garfunkel. Sparks debate about the song title. At one point I suggested it was "Ticonderoga or something." Preferred consensus: The I'd Rather Be a Hammer Than a Nail Song.

4. Last Train to Clarksville/The Monkees. CTA jokes ensue.

5. Sloop John B/The Beach Boys. We liked it better when it was Sloop John A. During this song I learned that Will Patton does the Al Gore audiobook. Will Patton kicked butt as the villain in The Postman. He was the copier clerk turned militia general.

6. Give A Little Bit/Supertramp. The orignial version, not the freakin' Goo Goo Dolls cover. You can make the tambourine sound if you have the right combination of change and keys in your pocket.

7. Lonesome Loser/Little River Band. Have you heard about the lonesome loser? Yes - whoever played this song.

8. Jah Live/Bob Marley.

9. Fat Bottomed Girls/Queen.

10. Orange Blossom Special/Johnny Cash.

11. Jolene/Dolly Parton. Apparently a true story.

12. Small Town Saturday Night/Hal Ketchum.

13. You Ain't Seen Nothin' Yet/BTO. Ugh.

14. Baby Come Back/Player. Wearing a mask of false bravado.

15. Give a Little Bit/Supertramp. Again, original version. Again.

- set by Joe


1. Australia/Kinks. Because Andrew is from Australia.

2. Smokestack Lightning/The Yardbirds.

3. Complicated/Rolling Stones.

4. Red Red Wine/UB40. Eh.

5. Shake a Pal/Stooges.

6. Let the Good Times Roll/Cars. Saw some live Cars footage recently. Has there ever been a more boring live band? Some quirky singles, but on the whole, totally overrated.

7. I Wanna Be Sedated/Ramones. After this set, yes.

8. Sex Machine/James Brown. Another song I just don't need to hear again.

9. Hey Joe/Jimi Hendrix. Already too widely available elsewhere, like Classic Rock radio.

10. Baby, You're a Rich Man/Beatles.

11. Golden Years/David Bowie. People who like the Kinks and the Stooges tend to like Bowie too.

12. Bohemian Rhapsody/Queen. Playing this in a bar is a major faux pas at this point, but there was a night a few years ago when me and Cub Factor writer Marty Gangler did all the voices and all four people in the video just right. We nailed it. The bar was floating off the earth's surface that night.

13. Radio/Elvis Costello.

14. Jailbreak/Thin Lizzy. Tonight there's gonna be a jailbreak, somewhere in this town. I'm not sure where. It could be at the 7-11, or the Walgreens, or City Hall. It might even be at the jail.

15. Back in Black/ACDC. Never. Gets. Old.

16. Welcome to the Jungle/Guns 'n Roses. I hate G 'n R, and I hate this song. It's so cloddy and thick and ham-handed. Or do I mean plodding?

17. Brown-Eyed Girl. There is so no reason to ever play this again. I'm aborting the rest of this set list.

Celebrity Note: Sideshow Bob is in the bar tonight.

- set by Andrew


1. Ain't Even Done With the Night/John Cougar. Possibly his best song. From before he became Mellencamp. This video doesn't do the song any favors, though.

2. And It Stoned Me/Van Morrison.

3. Welcome Back/John Sebastian. Signed, Epstein's mother.

4. Tonight's the Night/Rod Stewart.

5. She's Gone/Hall & Oates. What went wrong?

6. To Be With You/Mr. Big. Feel it tooooo!

7. You're So Vain. Don't you! Don't you! Don't you!

8. American Girl. Raised on promises.

9. The Joker/Steve Miller Band.

10. Rocky Mountain High/John Denver. I've seen it rainin' fire in the sky.

11. Only the Good Die Young/Billy Joel.

12. Stop Draggin' My Heart Around. This doesn't have to be the big get-even.

13. Shooting Star/Bad Company. Love Me Do, I think it was; from there it didn't take too long.

14. Is She Really Going Out With Him/Joe Jackson. There's something goin' wrong around here.

15. The Candy Man/Sammy Davis Jr. You can even eat the dishes.

16. Keep On Lovin' You/REO Speedwagon.

17. Drift Away/Dobie Gray.

18. Sara Smile/Hall & Oates. If you feel like leaving, you know you can go. Why don't you wait until tomorrow?

19. Lights/Journey. The White Sox ruined Don't Stop Believin'.

20. Even the Losers/Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. Well, it was nearly all summer we sat on your roof/Yeah, we smoked cigarettes and we stared at the moon/And I showed you stars you never could see/Babe, it couldn't have been that easy to forget about me.

21. Friends in Low Places/Garth Brooks.

- set by Steve


1. Cherry Bomb/John Mellencamp. We were young, and we were improving.

2. The River/Bruce Springsteen. Her body tan and wet down at the reservoir.

3. Billie Jean/Michael Jackson.

4. Tell Me Something Good/Rufus. Tell me, tell me, tell me.

5. Under Pressure/David Bowie and Queen. Still a great song, despite Vanilla Ice.

- set by Unknown or Bob, things got confused at this point


1. Just a Gigolo/David Lee Roth. Sadandlonelysadandlonelysadandlonely.

2. Nobody Does It Better/Carly Simon. The best of the Bond songs.

3. Roll Me Away/Bob Seger. She didn't have to say a thing - I knew what she was thinking.

- set by Bob

Posted on May 28, 2007

MUSIC - Britney's IUD.
TV - Vizio's Best Product Is You.
POLITICS - Climate Deniers' 4 Top Scare Tactics.
SPORTS - The McEnroes In Antarctica.

BOOKS - Foxconned.


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