Day in the Life: Christmas Radio

Listening to Christmas carols on Internet radio all day at work.

11: 07 - Man, Xmas carols from my youth suck. Carols to the tune of electric guitar, triangle, boing-boing bass, harpsichord and a chorus of generic white voices are the worst. And three decades ago while we were listening to these holiday songs, we (meaning me and my family) were eating iceberg lettuce and pancakes from a box. Ugh.

11:19 - Holy yule log, is Mel Torme ever boring! He's like the William Hurt of crooners.

11:27 - Ah, my absolute least favorite holiday genre . . . adults singing like children. Nails on a friggin' chalk board. It's beyond me how this was ever seen as cute or charming.

12:30 - Yet another choral carol where it sounds like the group slammed a case of Red Bull and then SANG AS FAST AS THEY COULD!!!

12:33 - Followed by Elvis on quaaludes singing a verrry melllllow "Silent Night."

12:43 - I hate it when they try to slip in other songs as Christmas carols. I'm sorry, but by no stretch of the imagination is "Where Is Love" from the musical Oliver a holiday song. Neither is "My Favorite Things," despite the fact that Christmas is mentioned in the lyric. Lame.

12:49 - Xylophone carols are objectionable (see harpsichord complaint above) unless they accompany Ella Fitzgerald.

1:17 - Nat King-of-the-Christmas-carol Cole can do no wrong. (Except when his daughter butts in to sing a "duet" of "The Christmas Song" with him. That is just wrong.)

2:58 - I ask you, is there any finer Christmas album than the soundtrack to A Charlie Brown Christmas? It never gets old. Even the kids barking out "Hark the Herald Angels Sing."

3:00 - I feel about the Chipmunk Song ("Christmas Don't Be Late") the same way I feel about "American Pie" - I never, ever, EVER need to hear it again. Ditto with "All I Want for Christmas Are My Two Front Teeth." (see faux kids above)

3:03 - Hands-down best Christmas duet: David Bowie and Bing Crosby singing "Peace On Earth/The Little Drummer Boy."

3:16 - The Beach Boys' "Little St. Nick" exists to be inserted in movie soundtracks. It should stay there.

4:02 - I'm tired of "Silent Night" but it sounds pretty darn good when Dinah Washington sings it.

4:04 - "Rudy the Red-Beaked Reindeer" sung by Dean Martin. I think that says it all.

5:03 - Well, that ends my broadcast day of listening to the "traditional Christmas" Internet radio station all day long. And now, I need a drink.

Originally published at 2 Things @ Once