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Friday Night Beachwood

The jukebox run from May 18, 2007.

1. Another Done Somebody Wrong Song/BJ Thomas. Hey, won't you play, another somebody done somebody wrong song? 'Cause I miss my baby.

2. School's Out/Alice Cooper. A graduation party came into the bar the other night. A college graduation party. Plus, Beachwood Bob likes to keep the jukebox seasonal. So this went on the box instead of "Eighteen."

3. Behind Closed Doors/Charlie Rich. This is a great song, but let's face it: Everyone knows what goes on behind closed doors.

4.Islands in the Stream/Dolly Parton & Kenny Rogers. Written by the BeeGees. So a lot of talent brought to bear. And a song some of us couldn't admit we liked until we were 35 or so.

5. Summer Wind/Frank Sinatra.

6.Luckenbach, Texas/Waylon Jennings & Willie Nelson. A very nice choice.

7. Play That Funky Music/Wild Cherry. KC and the Sunshine Band did a cover, so there's often confusion about who does this song. Classic album cover.

8. Lady Marmalade/LaBelle. "A sexy, four-minute funk party with a hot streetwalker whose lovers just can't stop thinking about her or her come-on line: "Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir?", the Beachwood's Mick Dumke says. "But if you actually really listen to 'Lady Marmalade,' you'll sense that this character and her story are also fleeting and sad."

- Set by Jamie


1. Watching the Detectives/Elvis Costello. I get so angry when the teardrops start, but he can't be wounded 'cause he's got no heart. Organ: Eweeeeeeeeeeeeeee-ewhoomp!

2.Everyday I Write The Book/Elvis Costello. Don't we all.

3.The Seeker/The Who. I'm just not a Who fan, despite my many music-loving friends who swear by them. I don't like their sound, I don't like their lyrics, I don't like Townshend, I don't like Daltrey. So that pretty much does it.

4.515/The Who.

5.Golden Years/David Bowie. Written for Elvis Presley at the height of Bowie's cocaine addiction. Elvis didn't want it. I've never liked Bowie much.

6.The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down/The Band. I dunno, I'm kind of glad they drove old Dixie down. So I find it hard to listen to this song sympathetically.

7. Shoot to Thrill/ACDC. Too many women, too many pills. This band never fails to deliver, and their songs never get old.

- Set by Andrew


1. Solsbury Hill/Peter Gabriel. Still not sure what this song is about, but you can take his things, they've come to take him home. Pretty killer.

2. Last Train to Clarksville/The Monkees.

3. Small Town, Saturday Night/Hal Ketchum. Bobby told Lucy, The world ain't round. Drops off sharp at the edge of town. Lucy, you know the world must be flat. 'Cause when people leave town, they never come back.

4. Lorelei/Styx.

5. I'm on Fire/Bruce Springsteen. Sometimes it's like someone took a knife, baby, edgy and dull, and cut a six-inch valley through the middle of my skull. Like most everything on this album, though, ill-produced.

6. Incense and Peppermint/Strawberry Alarm Clock. I could've done without this, but it did spark some acid conversation. Too bad we didn't have any. But just to really blow your mind, this band has links to both Lynyrd Skynyrd and Roger Ebert.

7. Yummy, Yummy, Yummy/Ohio Express. Yeah, this set is kinda goin' off the rails. Beachwood Bob tells us he almost put "Chewy, Chewy" on the box instead. It's a push.

- Set by Joe


1. Ain't Talkin' Bout Love/Van Halen. This is my traditional opening song. I like to announce my presence.

2. Ramble On/Led Zeppelin. Listen to the bass drum on this. Killer.

3. Once Bitten, Twice Shy/Great White. Yeah, I admit it. You didn't know that rock 'n roll burned, so you bought a candle and you loved and you learned! I mean, c'mon! Written by Ian Hunter, but I like this version.

4. Night Moves/Bob Seger. We were just young, and restless and bored. Somehow that was more romantic than being old and restless and bored. We stole away every chance we could, to the backroom, alley, and trusty woods.

5. Sister Golden Hair/America. I've been one poor correspondent. I've been too too hard to find. But that doesn't mean you ain't been on my mind.

6. Burnin' For You/Blue Oyster Cult. Time to play b-sides.

7. Cowboy Song/Thin Lizzy. I am just a cowboy, lonesome on the trail. Lord, I've been thinking about a certain female. Epic.

8. Silly Love Songs/Paul McCartney and Wings. One of those songs you try to deny for years until you finally give in.

9. Drift Away/Dobie Gray. Thanks for the joy that you've given me. I want you to know I believe in your song.

10. Keep Your Hands to Yourself/Georgia Satellites. Not a song I usually play, but thought it fit the rhythm of the set. Paul Westerberg once suggested he and Dan Baird trade bands.

11. Rich Girl/Hall & Oates. It's so easy to hurt others when you can't feel pain.

12. You're So Vain/Carly Simon. Don't you! Don't you!

13. Sylvia's Mother/Dr. Hook. Considerable time has been spent at the bar arguing about how much the operator says he needs for that phone call. It's 40 cents. For the next. Three. Minutes. Bon Jovi (!) covered this song.

14. Tiny Dancer/Elton John. I mean, yeah. C'mon. Count the headlights on the highway.

15. Lights/Journey. The White Sox ruined Don't Stop Believin'.

16. Sloop John B/The Beach Boys. They actually made a video for this - one that doesn't do the song any favors. Still, the worst trip he's ever been on turned out to be a pretty good one for the rest of us.

17. American Girl/Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. Well, she was an American girl, raised on promises. She couldn't help thinkin' that there was a little more life, somewhere else. After all it was a great big world, with lots of places to run to. Yeah, and if she had to die, tryin' she had one little promise she was gonna keep. Oh yeah. Alright.

- Set by Steve


1. Something sucky. A stranger is at the controls.

2. Stir It Up/Bob Marley. Whatever.

3. Cheeseburgers in Paradise/Jimmy Buffett. Possibly the worst selection in Beachwood history. Begs the question of why this is even on the box, but that's kind of like asking why there is evil in the world. Something about free will and there being a reason for everything. The reason for this just hasn't been revealed to us yet.

4. Kashmir/Led Zeppelin. Just not appropriate for a Friday night at the Beachwood.

5. What's Love Got To Do With It/Tina Turner. Nothing, believe me.

6. Rock With You/Michael Jackson. Pretty frickin' great. This pick meets with universal approval.

7. I Need A Lover/John Cougar. Great tune, don't really need to hear it again.

8. Brown-Eyed Girl/Van Morrison. Ditto.

9. Pour Some Sugar On Me/Def Leppard. Sometimes this works ironically. Not tonight.

10. Shake Your Groove Thing/Peaches and Herb. Better.

- Set by Unknown


1. Rocky Mountain Way/Joe Walsh. It's better than the way we had.

2. Blue Collar Man/Styx. Tommy Shaw tries to be hard.

3. We're Not Gonna Take It/Twisted Sister. At first I thought this was "Cum On Feel The Noize," which we are compelled to sing the way it's spelled - "C-u-m feel the noize!" There was a time when we used to sing "We're not gonna take it" and pound on the bar when a crappy song came on and we wanted bartender Bob to hit the reject button he has hiding back there.

4. Signs/Five Man Acoustical Band. From a better time when people didn't want to obey signs. Covered by Tesla.

5. Doctor My Eyes/Jackson Browne.

6. The Boys Are Back In Town/Thin Lizzy. They're hangin' down at Dino's.

- Set by Joe


1. Check It Out/John Mellencamp.

2. The Joker/The Steve Miller Band.

3. Running on Empty/Jackson Browne. He did this with Springsteen in Central Park at the Rally For Disarmament in 1982.

4. Only the Good Die Young/Billy Joel. Actually, as I understand it, Catholic girls tend to start early.

5. Beating Around the Bush/ACDC. I actually meant to play Back in Black. One of the best openings ever: I'm rolling thunder, I'm pouring rain. I'm coming on like a hurricane. White light flashes, across the sky. You're only young but you're gonna die.

6. Welcome Back/John Sebastian. Your dreams were your ticket out.

7. Dead or Alive/Bon Jovi. I hated Bon Jovi back then, and I suppose I still do. But this song has its charms, and is a killer bar singalong. We've seen a lot of faces, and we've rocked them all.

8. Keep on Lovin' You/REO. We like to think about Richrath's reaction when Cronin brought in this song. We think it went something like, "Jesus Christ, what the fuck am I gonna do with this?" His only answer was to just play the chords as hard as he could get away with. Still, Cronin's inimitable phrasing is on full display here, it's a great singalong, and we always chuckle remembering the recently divorced pal who sang out one night in character as his ex, "When I said that you loved me, I meant that I loved you for two-and-a-half years!"

9. She's Gone/Hall & Oates. I'd pay the devil to replace her.

10. Friends in Low Places/Garth Brooks. Feel free to hate Garth Brooks - we're not that fond of him - but this is one of the all-time drinking buddy songs.

11. 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover/Paul Simon. Curiously, he only names four or five. Of course, we've tried to fill out the list numerous times. Drop off the cliff, Cliff, is one of my favorites.

12. Every Rose Has Its Thorn/Poison. Yeah it does.

13. This Beat Goes On/The Kings. Me and Zero request you in the Mercedes! I don't understand any human who doesn't think this is music magic. They did this on American Bandstand.

14.Switchin' to Glide/The Kings. Only pure amateurs play just one of these, of course. It costs you two picks on the jukebox but you better do it or you're not welcome back. Out of this hole!

15. Tonight's the Night/Rod Stewart.

16. Everytime You Go Away/Paul Young.

17. Highway to Hell/ACDC. What more can you say about these guys? My friends are gonna be there too.

18. Rosalita/Bruce Springsteen. If you don't get it, I can't help you.

- Set by Steve


Comments, arguments, suggestions welcome. You must use a real name, however, to be considered for publication. And while you're here, see what other playlists Beachwood has in store.


Posted on May 21, 2007

MUSIC - Britney's IUD.
TV - Vizio's Best Product Is You.
POLITICS - Climate Deniers' 4 Top Scare Tactics.
SPORTS - The McEnroes In Antarctica.

BOOKS - Foxconned.


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