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Chicago - Mar. 19, 2022
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Stop Sign

The owner of a Washington-state computer shop asserts that computer viruses are the biggest threat to business computers, when clearly the real danger comes from shitty coffee.

Posted on July 17, 2007


More pokey-faced chumpfucks than a Chistopher Guest movie.

Posted on July 10, 2007

Swivel Sweeper

It cleans forwards, but it also cleans backwards!

Posted on May 16, 2007

Ab-Doer Xtreme

Targets all four sides of your waist at the same time. I guess that's the Xtreme part.

Posted on April 20, 2007

Russ Dalbey's Winning in the Cash Flow Business

Wait, would I have to share the pool with the rest of these people?

Posted on April 9, 2007

Yoga Booty Ballet

The ideal "booty," in this spot's terms, is spelled with two interlocking O's, tight, and small, but defined.

Posted on March 27, 2007

John Beck's Free & Clear Real Estate System

The apparent catchphrase? "I know it sounds too good to be true, but it is true." And yet, we still don't believe.

Posted on March 13, 2007

More Natural Cures Revealed by Kevin Trudeau

Most of Trudeau's stories, in fact, seem to take place in airports and/or on airplanes. What, doesn't he ever get spotted in line at Walgreens?

Posted on March 3, 2007

Michael Thurmond's Six-Day Body Makeover

A huge spread of fat-people photos becomes a collage American flag.

Posted on February 20, 2007

Sonic Blade

Apocalyptic Omens: "We need to put Sonic Blades in as many hands as possible!" "If you've got some cutting to do, you need power!"

Posted on February 18, 2007

Acne Complex

"It makes them disappear completely - it's almost magic!"

Posted on February 9, 2007

Esteban's Master Class Cutaway Guitar Package

If you're a loser with $200 to spare, you'll be kicking my ass on guitar in no time.

Posted on January 30, 2007

Youthful Essence by Susan Lucci

It might fix your skin, but that won't cover up your aesthetically flawed bone structure.

Posted on December 11, 2006

Urban Rebounding

If they can maintain that bouncing rhythm while keeping those smiles frozen on their faces, the system must be working.

Posted on November 12, 2006

The Magic Bullet

Just when you think you're going to miss your old blender, they spring it on you that the Magic Bullet comes with a traditional blender cup. Which also turns into a juicer.

Posted on October 3, 2006

Bella Vista Village

Et tu, Erik Estrada? Et tu?

Posted on July 18, 2006

The Total Living Drink

Apparently filmed in a borrowed model home, adding to the effect that we are in upper middle-class nutrition purgatory.

Posted on June 1, 2006


A lot of white people have discovered the secret to options trading.

Posted on May 1, 2006

The Air-O-Space Sofa Bed

I was slightly interested in the prospect of seeing Brandon get splattered, but I knew in my heart it wouldn't really happen.

Posted on March 21, 2006

The Little Giant Ladder

It's really 24 ladders in one - it's like having an entire garage of ladders.

Posted on February 25, 2006

MUSIC - Chief Keef Changed The Industry.
TV - Vizio's Best Product Is You.
POLITICS - UIC: Soda Taxes Work.
SPORTS - More McCaskey Malpractice.

BOOKS - All About Poop.


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