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A discount-store employee is time-warped to a medieval castle, where he is the foretold savior who can dispel the evil there. Unfortunately, he screws up and releases an army of skeletons. (
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The Weekend Desk Report

This whole report might be total bullshit. And you know what? I don't have to admit a damn thing.

Market Update
Due to spiraling energy costs, we have decided to "green up" the Weekend Desk by recycling a joke. President Bush this week conceded that the economy has slowed, but predicted things would improve rapidly right around the time he fixes the Middle East.

Meet the New Boss
Outgoing Russian President Vladimir Putin this week announced his baby-faced, puppet-like successor will be no less of a thorn in the West's side. Interestingly, Bill Gates said just about the same thing.

Headline of the Week
Oh, please. These people elected Snidely Whiplash six fucking times. How the hell is she going to lower their expectations any further?

Anagram of the Week

Body Politic
Chicago police hit out this week against public criticism of their recent weight gain by angrily confirming that they are, in fact, pregnant. Now back off, you vultures!

Artistic License
Finally this week, Hollywood has given to humanity a rare and beautiful gift: the unique view of a world populated by wooly mammoths, killed ostriches and nascent pyramids; a world here-to-fore experienced only by the truly visionary. What a rush.


Posted on March 8, 2008

MUSIC - Spring Awakening Wake-Up Call!
TV - Exclusive! Rahm's New TV Gig.
POLITICS - The Political Odds UPDATED.
SPORTS - NHL: CTE Not Our Fault.

BOOKS - Stan Lee, Flawed Hero.

PEOPLE PLACES & THINGS - Chicagoetry: I Am Iron Man.

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