Chicago - Jun. 22, 2017
Music TV Politics Sports Books People Places & Things
 
Must-See TV
Army Of Darkness
ElRey
5 p.m.
A discount-store employee is time-warped to a medieval castle, where he is the foretold savior who can dispel the evil there. Unfortunately, he screws up and releases an army of skeletons. (tvguide.com)
Weather Derby
Tribune: 51/37
Sun-Times: Ferro/McKinney
Weather Channel: 44/41
Ntl Weather Service: 54/43
BWM*: 82/12
Beachwood Bookmarks
K-Tel Classics
WKRP in Cincinnati
So You've Decided To Be Evil
St. Paul Saints
Nye's Polonaise Room
The Arcata Eye
Roadside USA
This Day In . . .
Onion History
Weird Al History
Baseball History
Beachwood History
History History
Spy Magazine History
#OnThisDate History
Chicago
Indicted!
Under Suspicion
Find Your Towed Car
Cable TV Complaints
Freedom of Information
The Expired Meter
The Mob & Friends
Stolen Bike Registry
O'Hare Music Tracker
Rats
Report Corruption (city)
Report Corruption (state)
Beyond
Scoundrels, State
Scoundrels, Federal
The Odds
Random Flight Tracker
Casting Calls
Cosmic Log
Buy Stamps
Beachwood Blogroll
A Handy List
Beachwood Ethics Statement
How We Roll
Today's Horoscope
Liberties will be taken.
Do We Sudoku?
No, but we do do moose stuff, and that can be anything you want it to be. Except Sudoku.
Losing Lottery Numbers
8, 25, 39
Daily Affirmation
I am open and receptive to new avenues of income. (louisehay.com)
Ellie
Knowing that a person may be unwittingly in danger of an assault imposes a moral duty to warn them.
Now Playing
Psychodrama/Marshall Law
Letters to the Editors
FAQ
About
Tip Line
"The Papers" archive
RSS
Beachwood Link Buttons
Media Kit/Advertising
 

The Weekend Desk Report

It's that weekend again, readers. The weekend when we stand at the edge of the abyss and peek down; when we begin to contemplate, after five glorious months, the idea of a Sunday without football. Worse, there's still one more game waiting in the future, tantalizingly close but still too far away to be a reality. So what can you do to fill the final bye week? Fear not. As a service to you, we present the patented Beachwood Reporter Weekend Desk Super Bore Sunday Distraction List. These time-tested techniques will see you through to the Big Game in no time.

1. Cruise the strip. Get yourself a fake ID and hit the damn town.

2. Gamble. You know, the old-fashioned way.

3. Join a clown party.

4. Play Robot Wars: NFL Edition. Build an unstoppable bludgeoning machine out of products endorsed by Peyton Manning. Or, alternatively, just watch TV. Extra points for working in some Double Stuf Oreos.

5. Three words: avant garde puppetry.

6. Seek the Republican nomination. Seriously, you're still in this.

7. Distract yourself with word games. Obsessively anagram the phrase TOM BRADY HIGH ANKLE SPRAIN. Laugh like a twelve year old when you get to A BRAINY MODEL'S THIGH PRANK.

8. Go out on a date. Be careful, though. There are some real freaks out there.

9. Finish writing that rousing speak you've been kicking around. Oh, and while you're at it, fix the Middle East already.

10. Picket a summit.

11. Watch the NHL All-Star Game. No, seriously.

*

And stay informed: Catch up on the week's Papers.



Permalink

Posted on January 26, 2008


MUSIC - Blues Fest 2017.
TV - 'The Worst FCC I've Ever Seen.'
POLITICS - Minimum Wage Hikes Work.
SPORTS - On Joe Louis, Race And Sports Heroes.

BOOKS - The Blood Of Emmett Till.

PEOPLE PLACES & THINGS - Artist As Alchemist.


Search The Beachwood Reporter

Subscribe To Our Newsletter
Email:

Follow BeachwoodReport on Twitter



Beachwood Radio!


Ask Me Anything!