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The Weekend Desk Report

You just stay close to the space heater this weekend. We'll keep an eye on the news.

Market Update
Just to clarify: when Congress tries to spend money "like a teenager with a new credit card," it's a sign of fiscal irresponsibility. However, when the President tries to funnel more money to millions of people who have already spent like teenagers with new credit cards, it's stimulating the economy.

National Frigid League
When it comes to making your wagers on this weekend's NFL playoff games, we recommend taking the over on amputated fingers in the Packers/Giants game. As for the Patriots and Chargers, Vegas has set the line at 13 1/2 blown-out knees. We say take the tendons, give the points.

Double Trouble
The Food and Drug Administration this week controversially ruled that food derived from cloned pigs and cattle is safe for human consumption. Lead FDA researcher Stephen Sundlof pointed out that after six years of exhaustive study they could find no evidence that the synthetically produced meats posed a greater threat than, say, a double Whopper with cheese.

Hall in the Family
In what is largely seen as a triumph for the Daley administration, a judge has ruled that City Hall can police its own infamously crooked hiring procedures. You know, the hiring procedures that resulted in the creation of a special independent monitor. The same judge is also expected to rule that China is doing great on human rights and that Britney Spears is model parent.

Death Becomes Her
Speaking of Britney, it seems at least one major news outlet is about ready to call time on her reign of terror. Oh, please. They've been predicting that for years, but she just keeps going.

Her, Too
Meanwhile, Britney's fellow Hollywood malcontent Lindsay Lohan has been sent to work in a mortuary as part of her continued penance for drunk driving offenses. And suddenly that metaphor isn't funny anymore.


Posted on January 19, 2008

MUSIC - Christgau Loves Chicago Neonatologist.
TV - Amazon & The Way Of The World.
POLITICS - The Political Odds.
SPORTS - Another Week Of Trubisky Analysis.

BOOKS - Writers Under Surveillance.

PEOPLE PLACES & THINGS - Original Warrior.

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