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The Weekend Desk Report

The Weekend Desk will only keep as much a watchful eye on developments in the Amy Jacobson saga over the next 48 hours as is necessary to provide you with everything you need to know about important parts of your world. Because, aside from that, we don't feel too well.

Get well soon, America
We're having surgery!

Iraq Dispatch
We're outta there!

My new hero.

Whole Fool
Here's a little something from the cheapening of the Green file to warm the cockles of Dick Cheney's cold, dead heart: Turns out you don't have to give up being a weasely corporate dirtbag just because you've decided to be eco-friendly.

Sludge Fudge
"The massive BP oil refinery in Whiting, Ind., is planning to dump significantly more ammonia and industrial sludge into Lake Michigan, running counter to years of efforts to clean up the Great Lakes," the Tribune reports.

It's a start.

Chinese Democracy
Beijing accomplishes what Wicker Park couldn't.

Ancient Chinese secret, huh?

Black Friday
It couldn't have happened to a crappier person.

Well, that's not entirely true.

Prison Bait
Where Conrad Black is going.

Boob Job
Didn't we already see this in a Simpsons episode?

Fat Chance
Didn't we already see this too?

Barney Blago
Trib: "Governor Sticks to Guns."

Sheriff Taylor only gives him one bullet, though. He fires it at Mike Madigan and it deflects off Emil Jones and comes back to hit Blago in the ass.


Also In Your Weekend Beachwood
Catch up with the week's Papers, including these favorites:

* The Sun-Times asks, "But will pop music raise our awareness of Earth's ecological woes?" Hello! It just did!

* The latest news from the Kwik-E-Mart Affairs Desk, the Missing the Point Bureau, and the Division of Unnecessary Explanations.

* Did fired Channel 5 reporter Amy Jacobson really deliver "scoops"? Soap opera voyeurism should never be mistaken for journalism.

* When Geraldo Rivera is laughing at your loose journalistic standards, you know you've screwed up. Unless you're Eric Zorn.

* Amy Jacobson's behavior is even worse than we thought. She was also too close to the police.

Other recent postings:

* Our Live Earth double-shot.

* The Cub Factor.

* Hail Kwik-E-Mart!

* What I Watched Last Night. On the Lot, Hell's Kitchen, John From Cincinnati.

* What I Wished I Watched Last Night. I, Genghis. Shown jointly on HBO and BBC.

* Taxicab Journal.

New this week: Cab #5321.

* Ramen Review #1.

In the News:
The Secret Life of Joey "the Clown" Lombardo: Part 1.
The Secret Life of Joey "the Clown" Lombardo: Part 2.
The Secret Life of Joey "the Clown" Lombardo: Part 3.

* Obamathon.
* The [Libby] Papers.

From the Archives:
* Go Iraq.

The Beachwood Tip Line: Poolside service available.


Posted on July 14, 2007

MUSIC - Who's Next In Chicago Rap.
TV - Tribune-Nexstar Deal Is Bad News.
POLITICS - Big Soda Hates You.
SPORTS - Harold vs. the Haters.

BOOKS - Wright Brothers, Wrong Story!

PEOPLE PLACES & THINGS - Go Ahead, Eat Raw Cookie Dough!

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