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The Weekend Desk Report
"Chicago Police Supt. Eddie Johnson had 'a couple of drinks with dinner' before driving home and slumping over in his vehicle, Mayor Lori Lightfoot disclosed Friday," the Sun-Times reports.
Let me tell you something - and I think most if not all of you already know this - when you describe the amount of drinking you've done to an authority figure as "a couple," it's at least twice that, and almost always more.
"I only had a couple, officer, I swear."
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Someone who has truly only had a couple - with dinner - will say, "I had two Old Styles with dinner."
Someone who says "a couple" is trying to muddy the waters. Adding "with dinner" is also an attempt to mitigate the circumstances you find yourself in.
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"One day after the police superintendent she inherited requested an internal affairs investigation of himself, Lightfoot refused to say whether Johnson should have been driving or whether he should have been given a sobriety test."
Honest question: How many times have the Chicago police come upon someone who isn't their boss or some other clouted figure asleep at the wheel at 12:30 a.m. and not administered a sobriety test?
Honest answer: Never!
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"Lightfoot told the Chicago Sun-Times she would await the outcome of the internal investigation before determining whether the rules were bent to protect the boss and whether to hold Johnson responsible."
Fair enough. But you know what? The chief of police ought to have demanded that officers give him a sobriety test, because that's their job.
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Next: Johnson claims he was conducting an undercover operation.
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P.S.: A "couple" or "a few" beers no longer necessarily means what it used to - talls (16 ouncers) have become the default. Three talls is 48 ounces, the equivalent of what we used to call "four" beers. It only gets worse from there, especially as your ability to do math degrades.
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I don't know if the medication Johnson is blaming also comes in talls. But if it doesn't, it should!
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Beer Spies
"Anheuser-Busch alleges MillerCoors stole recipes for Bud Light and Michelob Ultra during ongoing corn syrup battle," the Tribune reports.
In the latest legal salvo over the use of corn syrup in beer, Anheuser-Busch claims MillerCoors "misappropriated trade secrets" by obtaining full recipes and a technical manual for making its Bud Light and Michelob Ultra brews.An employee at Anheuser-Busch's Cartersville, Georgia, brewery allegedly shared the recipes in February with a MillerCoors employee, according to a counterclaim filed Thursday by Anheuser-Busch in a 7-month-old federal lawsuit.
Aren't these folks embarrassed to be arguing over the recipes of the worst-tasting beers this side of Coors Light?
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Reminds me of this:
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Beezer Schmeezer
"Earlier this month, Old Irving Brewing Company from Chicago beat out 347 other entries to earn a gold medal for its IPA, Beezer, earning it top honors in the most-entered category this year at The Great American Beer Festival, one of the largest beer festivals in the world and currently the biggest commercial beer competition in the world," Fortune reports.
Beezer is the brewery's flagship beer:
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Beer Advocate gives it 4.5 out of 5 stars based on 27 reviews.
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Beer Utopia
"Samuel Adams is releasing a beer so strong that it is illegal in 15 states," USA Today reports.
Go on, I'm listening.
"The beer, called Utopias, has 28 percent alcohol by volume (ABV) and began its limited release Tuesday in select beer and specialty stores (including Illinois and Indiana) . . . "
Yes!
" . . . for a suggested retail price of $210 per bottle."
Oh.
God, Sam Adams, you're such an elitist old white man.
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Craft Shaft
It's Craft Beer Weekend in Chicago.
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New on the Beachwood . . .
CTU Strike Notebook 1: Everyone Is Bullshitting You
But some more than others.
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Beachwood Sports Radio: Run, Mitchell, Run
Trubisky's legs are the only competitive advantage he has. Plus: The Only News In Football That Really Matters; The Bears Have More Tight Ends Than The Pence Family; Where Is Your Offensive Line Coach God Now; Letter Of The Week; Saints Marching Line; Boss Ross Or New Joe; The Blackhawks' Weird Goalie Sitch; Thank You, Luol Deng; Fire Lovie Smith Watch; and The Red Stars Semifinal vs. the Portland Thorns.
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Weekend ChicagoReddit
Somebody lost their Open House Chicago schedule on their first stop from r/chicago
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Weekend ChicagoGram
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Weekend ChicagoTube
Chicago-style deep dish pizza made at the Sanbon Market in Gunpo, South Korea.
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Weekend BeachBook
The Monsters Of #MeToo.
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Inside The Shutdown Of The 'World's Largest' Child Sex Abuse Website.
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Five Reasons The Diet Soda Myth Won't Die.
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Front Lawn Installations Pay Tribute To Late Chicago Artist.
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The Annual South Side Grape Sale.
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Weekend TweetWood
A sampling of the delight and disgust you can find @BeachwoodReport.
Again: WTF is wrong with you, New York Times? https://t.co/AqJE44EXKb
— Beachwood Reporter (@BeachwoodReport) October 19, 2019
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Because the first 1,000 days were totally normal. https://t.co/68OyCrolgb
— Beachwood Reporter (@BeachwoodReport) October 19, 2019
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1. Producer and activist Andrew Duncan bought 300 tickets to tonight's Nets vs Raptors game and is hosting hundreds of Chinese pro-Democracy activists to protest the NBA.
— Yashar Ali ๐ (@yashar) October 19, 2019
They're all wearing "Stand With Hong Kong" t-shirts pic.twitter.com/pIcUwSLaPB
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Donotpay adds a feature that waits on hold for you, and now I'm ready to subscribe https://t.co/MZdm6WAsqF
— Beachwood Reporter (@BeachwoodReport) October 19, 2019
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The Weekend Desk Strike Line: Say it, don't spray it.
Posted on October 19, 2019
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