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The Weekend Desk Report
A lot of action in Springfield, obvi.
The superseding Ed Burke indictment. (I looked it up to be sure, and it's not spelled superceding, which somehow I feel would be more satisfying.)
A misogynist, racist, anti-Semitic, pathologically lying crime boss as president.
But first: Weekend at Benny's!
Longtime readers know that several times a year, usually holiday weekends, when our very own Dr. Nick travels with his wife (and now young son), I cat-sit for him. And the cat I sit for is the greatest cat ever, including that noxious motherfucker Garfield.
And given that this weekend is Memorial Day Weekend - according to the Beachwood calendar - I've been back at Benny's tearing it up.
1. Benny Close-Up.
I tried to get him to pose with his stuffed rat, but he wasn't cooperating. I guess he wanted the spotlight all to himself.
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2. Benny With Chicken.
Because he wouldn't pose with his friends, I had to fool him and photograph him with friends in the background. For example, here he is with Chicken.
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3. Benny's Belly.
Benny is pretty greedy for affection. When he goes for the belly rub, he tilts his head first, and then goes for the flip-over maneuver that exposes his underside to the elements. Who, besides a Republican and Rahm Emanuel, could resist?
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4. Benny Circle.
Look at how he forms a circle when he scrunches up. Maybe most - or all - cats do it, but I don't come into contact with animals much, which is why all of this remains a novelty to me. Look at how he tucks his tail in. Does he do that consciously or is it programmed into his DNA? (Cats have DNA, right? That's not just a human thing?)
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5. Cat Coincidence.
Song playing as I type this at the cafe I'm at.
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6. I Do Not Lack For Self-Awareness About All Of This, Believe Me.
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7. Quagmire And James.
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8. Benny Hardly Working.
Dude, if you're gonna get in between me and my laptop, at least do some editing for me.
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Previously in Benny:
* Our very own Roger Wallenstein co-hosts The Beachwood Radio Sports Hour with Benny Shreders, aka Sir Benjamin J. Katt, Esq.
* Our very own Jim "Coach" Coffman co-hosting The Beachwood Radio Sports Hour with Benny Shreders, aka Sir Benjamin J. Katt, Esq.
* Shy Benny Hides From Mayoral Endorsement.
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New on the Beachwood . . .
The Beachwood Radio Sports Hour #254: Netgate
Excuses exhausted. Plus: Patrick Mannelly Great Ever; The St. Louis Bores; Astros Series Asinine; Defining Darvish Down; Contreras Can't Catch; The Dooche; Justin Verlander Reminds Us He Wanted To Be A Cub; The Cubs' Bill Buckner; White Sox Wild?; Burton's Boo-Boo; Stanley Cup Finals Moves To Nation's Most Boring City; and Why You Should Both Love Steve Kerr And Root For The Raptors.
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Weekend ChicagoReddit
McDonalds on Chicago is trying a new way to fight loitering from r/chicago
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Weekend ChicagoGram
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Weekend ChicagoTube
DGAF Music - The South Side Party (1992) Chicago
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Weekend BeachBook
Dear Political Journalists: Learn How To Do Your Jobs And Stop Hurting America.
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A Scandal A Day Keeps The Media Away.
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Lori Lightfoot Hangs Art About Redlining In Her Office.
Rahm Emanuel, on the other hand, was a redliner.
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Yoga's Instagram Provocateur.
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A Dollar Store Beat, Please.
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A Punjabi Hockey Announcer Is Changing The Face Of Canada's Favorite Sport.
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Art Institute Of Chicago Selling 300 Works Of Chinese Art.
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Trump Rushed Off Stage After Secret Service Spots Man Carrying Photo Of John McCain.
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Indiana Teachers Head To Brewery For Externships.
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Female Trainee Agents Allege Discrimination At FBI Academy In Lawsuit.
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Amsterdam Cracks Down On Annoying Tourists Who Are Ruining Everything.
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LOL, Posted The Day Ed Burke Was Hit By A Superseding Indictment.
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Weekend TweetWood
A sampling.
'Tank Man': the full footage. Tiananmen Square, Beijing, 1989 pic.twitter.com/Vg3IMGuQ4H
— Carl Zha (@CarlZha) May 31, 2019
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'Moral obligation' to remove Chicago monument of Nazi collaborator https://t.co/iwpO3Cxfxf
— Beachwood Reporter (@BeachwoodReport) June 2, 2019
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[heavy sigh] https://t.co/6XOlA6loFH
— Beachwood Reporter (@BeachwoodReport) June 1, 2019
I'm grungy punk now, and I wear torn, dirty designer clothes. https://t.co/T5fhTdoFVb
— Beachwood Reporter (@BeachwoodReport) June 1, 2019
At this juncture, anyone wearing a Sex Pistols or Ramones t-shirt is a poser of the first order.
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Chase credit cards quietly reintroduce the binding arbitration clauses they were forced to eliminate a decade ago https://t.co/psO6pcssNM
— Beachwood Reporter (@BeachwoodReport) June 1, 2019
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My god. And I'm the one living in poverty.
Editor in Chief of Major News Website Just Learned How the U.S. Government Works https://t.co/y3nLcZ7MWU via @Splinter_news
— Beachwood Reporter (@BeachwoodReport) May 31, 2019
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My god. And I'm the one living in poverty.
At This Point It's Hard to Find a White Supremacist Laura Ingraham Won't Defend https://t.co/r76T9VmIUc via @Splinter_news
— Beachwood Reporter (@BeachwoodReport) May 31, 2019
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A reminder, too, that there is nothing inherent about the rules of grammar and language. It's whatever we want it to be, and most grammar rules are not only artificial, but not taken seriously by grammar experts - only by mediocre editors clinging to endlessly repeated nostrums passed down by other mediocre editors.
NPR editors have fought this good fight for years. And whenever they have flagged, our listeners have rushed to fill the breach with a flurry of pedantic emails. But at long last, Merriam Webster is waving the white flag on the great Podium-Lectern battle. https://t.co/P87W1EfsDj
— scott horsley (@HorsleyScott) May 30, 2019
Also: I once thought the copy editing rules enforced in the newspaper world were the rules of the world, existing apart from humans. Then I went to work for a magazine that had many of its own rules in direct opposition to what I had worked hard to learn over my newspaper career. Out the window! Why? Just because. Style is a house choice; no more, no less.
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Thanks, Mayor Lightfoot, for the Feminist, Anti-Racist Messages Your Fashion Choices Send CPS Kids https://t.co/Yz6zD53uK5 via @ChicagoUnheard
— Beachwood Reporter (@BeachwoodReport) May 31, 2019
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She is, after all, wearing David Byrne's suits.
— New White Sox uniforms in 2020 (@Newsoxunis2020) May 30, 2019
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The Weekend Desk McRibTipLine: Records to play.
Posted on June 2, 2019
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