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A discount-store employee is time-warped to a medieval castle, where he is the foretold savior who can dispel the evil there. Unfortunately, he screws up and releases an army of skeletons. (
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No, but we do do moose stuff, and that can be anything you want it to be. Except Sudoku.
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I am open and receptive to new avenues of income. (
Knowing that a person may be unwittingly in danger of an assault imposes a moral duty to warn them.
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The Weekend Desk Report

Happy holidays, everyone! Parts of our brains will be taking a break from reality this long weekend. The rest, we devote to you.

Market Update
Despite the brave face presented by industry insiders, analysts predict the surge in raw materials will result in increased pressure on the already strapped Cardiac Health index.

Teenaged Mutant Ninja Drivers
The start of next year's summer driving season looks set to be a whole lot safer as the Illinois House unanimously passed a bill designed to further isolate mentally fragile teens. Because everyone knows teens are much less dangerous all alone in broad daylight, and the best defense is always hysterical overreaction.

The CTA has threatened to go nuclear unless the world at large ponies up $110 million for infrastructure improvements. Studies indicate that a full-scale military invasion of the agency would yield a funding bonanza rich enough to guarantee each rider their own personal conveyance.

Red or Dead
Simmer down, everyone. No need to panic over the latest blustery posturing from Asia. This time it looks like the revolution will be home-cooked and minty-fresh.

Gift Guide
Finally, for those who want to get a jump-start on their Father's Day shopping, we have found the perfect present: 30 years of sweet, sweet validation.


Posted on May 26, 2007

MUSIC - Christgau Loves Chicago Neonatologist.
TV - Amazon & The Way Of The World.
POLITICS - The Political Odds.
SPORTS - Another Week Of Trubisky Analysis.

BOOKS - Writers Under Surveillance.

PEOPLE PLACES & THINGS - Original Warrior.

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