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A discount-store employee is time-warped to a medieval castle, where he is the foretold savior who can dispel the evil there. Unfortunately, he screws up and releases an army of skeletons. (
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No, but we do do moose stuff, and that can be anything you want it to be. Except Sudoku.
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Knowing that a person may be unwittingly in danger of an assault imposes a moral duty to warn them.
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The Weekend Desk Report

"[T]he Kane County Cougars are hosting a promotion they're calling Political Corruption Night Thursday, when the team plays the Wisconsin Timber Rattlers at 6:30 p.m. in Fifth Third Bank Ballpark in Geneva," the Elgin Courier-News reports.

George Ryan should throw out the first pitch to a holographic Rod Blagojevich.


Chicago Foodies

* "Oysters, for instance, aren't served with the traditional accompaniments, but with the neon relish of the Chicago hot dog."

* "A Chicago man faced felony burglary charges for breaking into cars and stealing cash so he can afford to try different types of pizzas from various restaurants throughout the city."

* "The Italian beef sandwiches can get complicated, so employees help guide customers through the process."


Beachwood Photo Booth: Proceed To Checkout
America on Elston.


The Week In Chicago Rock
Featuring: The Hush Sound, The Fixx, Berlin, Charles Joseph Smith, and Tashi Dorji and Michael Zerang.


The Sound Opinions Weekend Listening Report: "Australian singer-songwriter Courtney Barnett's 2015 album Sometimes I Sit and Think and Sometimes I Just Sit was a critical success and Sound Opinions favorite. Her conversational songwriting manages to be simultaneously clever and poignant, and her guitar technique combining lead and rhythm parts is nothing short of impressive. All of her skills are on display as Courtney Barnett joins Jim and Greg for an interview and intimate solo performance in front of an audience. Plus, a review of the new album from country singer-songwriter Lydia Loveless."


Catching up with last week's Sound Opinions: "In the late 1950s, Jamaican musicians blended homegrown rhythms with R&B to create ska. The genre's influence quickly spread across the globe, paving the way for the reggae phenomenon. Jim and Greg explore the history of ska from its island origins to its British revival to its most recent punk incarnation. Plus, a review of the debut album from poet and soul singer Jamila Woods."

Previously in Jamila Woods:
* Covering "Hey Ya," (last item).

* Debuts "blk girl soldier."

* Meet Hollis Wong-Wear & Jamila Woods, The Women Of Color Behind Macklemore's 'White Privilege II.'"


From the Beachwood sports desk . . .

TrackNotes: Jim Dandy And The Pizza Man
The passwords: Wow, Dammit, Splash, and Delicious.

The 2016 Fantasy Fix Draft Guide Pt. 2: Zero RB
Matt Forte vs. Jeremy Langford.

The Beachwood Radio Sports Hour #115: Coghlan's Army (Or, Tommy La Who?)
Winning Weird: Everything's Coming Up Cub; Grandpa!; Tommy La Stella's Search For Purpose; Jason Heyward Is A Remarkably Bad Hitter Right Now; Funky Drumming Bullpen; All Addison Russell Does Is Hit With Runners In Scoring Position.

Plus: MLB Forces White Sox To Finish Season; Tickets Will Actually Be Sold. Call Team For More Information.

And: We Miss Matt Slauson, And So Too, Apparently, Do The Bears; Denver's Wildcat; This Is It, John Fox; We're Already Tired Of You Going 6-10 Every Year.

Finally: Amazing Feats Of Human Endeavor (Rio 2016 So Far).


Awesome Show Notes.

How Do Archers Resist Firing Arrows At Everyone In The Spectator Gallery?
"Years of training allow Olympic archer Sarah Voegel to somehow resist shooting arrows at fans, stadium ushers, or birds flying overhead."


Weekend BeachBook

Illinois Sets New Limits On Stingrays.


Weekend TweetWood

To be fair, that includes the Black Lung unit.


Hey look, he removed the sheriff's star.


Racist, sexist, neo-Nazi, fascist, hypocritical lies from presidential candidate merely "wacky," Area Columnist says.



Why in the world would reporters need to be reminded of that? THAT'S THE JOB. The fact that some think otherwise speaks volumes.


The Weekend Desk Tronc Line: That's the job.


Posted on August 13, 2016

MUSIC - Chief Keef Changed The Industry.
TV - Vizio's Best Product Is You.
POLITICS - UIC: Soda Taxes Work.
SPORTS - More McCaskey Malpractice.

BOOKS - All About Poop.


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