The Weekend Desk Report

For completists, there was no column on Friday.

I know I said this last week but muddled through anyway, but I might take a week off. We'll see. I'm torn between competing impulses of how to spend my time at the moment.

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I work really hard on the Show Notes for The Beachwood Radio Sports Hour every week, and with the latest installment now up I want to particularly encourage you to check them out, even if you don't listen to the podcast. Which you should listen to. But at least look over the Show Notes. I'm pretty sure you won't be sorry.

The Beachwood Radio Sports Hour #101: You're Gonna Want To Read These Show Notes
Cubs can pick any eight players and put 'em at any position and they'll win. Plus: Crane Kenney, Still Employed By Cubs, Strikes Again; Rahm Emanuel Is The Crane Kenney Of Mayors; Dusty Cannot Be Trustied; Rogers!; Ding Dong Danks; Leicester vs. Lester, and much, much more!

TrackNotes: This Year's Derby A Value Proposition
"I'm big on Outwork, but please don't tell anyone," our man on the rail Tom Chambers writes. "He's 15-1 on the morning line from the 15-hole and I like that just fine. I would be greedy at any higher and, well, don't go below that!"

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The Week In Chicago Rock
Featuring: Courtesy, Astronautilas, Stick Men, Bane, John Waite, Big Black Delta, Skeleton$, Jungle Rot, Amon Amarth, The Runner Ups, Social Repose, Dying Fetus, The Acacia Strain, The Shades, Widespread Panic, Tweet, ADT, and Cross Record.

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The Sound Opinions Weekend Listening Report: "Swedish neo-soul singer Seinabo Sey is emerging as a major voice in pop music, blending R&B and African rhythms. She joins Jim and Greg for a conversation and performance. Then they review the new album from pioneering ambient producer Brian Eno."

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Beachwood Photo Booth: DLER ALKY
Stick it where it fits.

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So Sue Them: What We've Learned About The Debt Collection Machine
Greedy racist pigs, documented.

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BeachBook

Hogs Are Hot In Illinois.

An even better headline might be "5 Reasons Why Hogs Are Hot In Illinois." Have a sense of wonder.

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Repeat Customer Pays $9.25 A Night To Stay At Palmer House Hilton.

What this headline is missing is "And You Could Too" at the end.

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Companies Put $221 Billion Into Low Tax Jurisdictions In 2015: UN.

Better: Global Tax Avoidance Bill: $221 Billion.

Don't give me this "low tax jurisdictions" crap.

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MLB Won't Give Me Permission To Describe Game To Friend.

Perfect.

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Cartoonist Fired From Farm News For Pro-Farmer Cartoon.

An odd attempt; he was fired because his cartoon suggested that farmers didn't receive a fair slice of the pie when it came to agribusiness profits. So maybe " . . . For Questioning Agribusiness." Or " . . . For Teasing Agribusiness." Kick it around the writers' room.

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When Is Death In A Combat Zone Not A Combat Death? When The President Says We're Not At War In The Combat Zone Because If We Were, He'd Be Violating The Constitution. Which We Are And He Is.

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Vote Horse 2016.

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TweetWood
A sampling.

When does David Brooks' tour of America start? Should I clean my room?

— Beachwood Reporter (@BeachwoodReport) May 7, 2016

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Nebraska Governor PETE RICKETTS, Whose Family Spent Millions Trying to Stop Donald Trump, Will Endorse Donald Trump https://t.co/h8Bby2t0yz

— Beachwood Reporter (@BeachwoodReport) May 7, 2016

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Archivist Won't Call "Torture Report" a Permanent Record https://t.co/ehMs22P1JJ via @FAScientists

— Beachwood Reporter (@BeachwoodReport) May 7, 2016

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Michael Ferro's . . .

Magic Bean Content Machine™️

— Beachwood Reporter (@BeachwoodReport) May 5, 2016

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The Beachwood Tip Line: No scrubs.

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