The Weekend Desk Report

The corpse flower at the Chicago Botanic Garden is behind blooming schedule, possibly because of overcast weather.

We think instead that our new friend Spike has synced its rhythms to Chicago and is waiting to stink up the joint at a most opportune time.

Such as:

* When Jay Cutler throws his first interception in Cincinnati tonight.

* When Dan Haren throws his next pitch.

* When Billy Dec opens his next club.

* When Michael Sneed reports her next "scoop."

* When Rahm Emanuel next pretends to care.

* When the Chicago City Council next meets.

* When Bruce Rauner next pretends to care.

* When the next "iteration" of the Stars Wars museum is revealed.

* When the real bill for the Obama library comes through.

* When CPS cuts from the bottomless bowl known as the Central Office again.

* When yet another CPS CEO is named after Forrest Claypool has done Rahm's dirty work.

* When the next pol is indicted. Could be any day!

* When the next pundit moralizes about how sports builds character.

Because all of those things stink, too.

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Plus:

THIS corpse flower bloomed: http://t.co/tHN7srP7Rf | #WeSuck #MaybeWeCantAffordTheFlowerToBloom #RahmsFault

— Beachwood Reporter (@BeachwoodReport) August 29, 2015

This one bloomed too! http://t.co/AQo01Ywuig

— Beachwood Reporter (@BeachwoodReport) August 29, 2015

The stinky corpse flower. #NewMonopolyPieces

— Beachwood Reporter (@BeachwoodReport) August 29, 2015

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Live stream of Spike:

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Beachwood Sports Radio: Fall Guys & Rape Culture
The entitled Derrick Rose. Plus: UniCubs and Lollipops; Insane Clown Bullpen; The Team Without Jade; The Quality Fifth Start; 0-16; The White Sox Have A Core Four!; The Chicago Fire Did Something This Week; So Did The Chicago Sky.

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The Sound Opinions Weekend Listening Report: "The Isley Brothers have scored hits in six different decades thanks to an ever-evolving sound, stretching from doo-wop to psychedelic funk to disco. Guitarist Ernie Isley joins Jim and Greg for a career spanning discussion."

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BeachBook

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TweetWood
A sampling.

"Dodger Stadium Features Loaded Chicago Style Hot Dog For Cubs Series" | Also, no-bid contracts to the first 20,000

— Beachwood Reporter (@BeachwoodReport) August 28, 2015

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And to think Michael Jordan left a 20% tip at this place: http://t.co/VoQueNQgGJ | #chicago

— Beachwood Reporter (@BeachwoodReport) August 28, 2015

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The Weekend Desk Tip Line: Pull our finger.

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