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The Weekend Desk Report

True Confessions
In light of recent revelations at another trusted Internet source, we feel it's only right to tell you that there is no actual Weekend Desk. We use the same desk on the weekend that we use during the week. Sometimes, when we've been sucked into a Nova marathon on PBS or whatever, we'll actually type this puppy out on the living room couch. We just thought "Weekend Living Room Couch Report" sounded a little tacky, is all. Oh, and in the interest of full disclosure, we should also point out that, in a strictly physical sense, there's usually only one of us.

Bubble Teams
It's March Madness time and, as always, there are too many teams for the 65 bracket spots. We've crunched all the numbers and here are our official picks from among the bubble teams.

Barack Obama - In
Hillary Clinton - Out
Connecticut - Out
Ethanol - Look for a play-in against Renewable Energy
God - Will need a late surge
America - In for the long haul
Real Estate - Not a chance
Chicago - Who the hell knows?

Georgia Impeach
Newt Gingrich this week admitted carrying on an extramarital affair during his persecution of Bill Clinton for moral laxity. Conscious of the success of Gingrich's efforts, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid plans to begin illegally wiretapping his constituents in the coming weeks.

The U.S. State Department this week indicted Kazakhstan for violating Borat's human rights. While no official response has yet been issued, we expect Kazakhstan willlaugh its ass off.


Posted on March 10, 2007

MUSIC - Lyric Opera Strike Settled.
POLITICS - USA Today's Op-Ed Disaster.
SPORTS - SportsMonday: Come On, Vic!

BOOKS - Chicago Book Haul: The Dial.

PEOPLE PLACES & THINGS - Chicagoetry: West Town Blues.

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