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Dog The Bounty Hunter
7 p.m.
An erotic dancer is sought in Honolulu as the team welcomes Duane Lee back into the fold. (

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There's no bright side, so you can stop expending energy looking for it.
There are few universal conclusions about the effects of divorce versus unhappy marriages; instead, there are individuals, their specific problems and how they handle them.
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The Weekend Desk Report

Filling in for Weekend Desk Editor Natasha Julius, who is away on a dangerous assignment involving alcohol, hot wings, and the Scooter Libby trial.

Red Carpet Bombs
* In late-breaking Oscar news, the Democrats are trying to give back their 2002 award for Best Supporting Actors in a Foreign Policy Blunder of Epic Proportions.

* Meanwhile, the odds have broken in Dick Cheney's favor in the Best Actor category for his strong performance as President of the United States. Cheney is now expected to edge out Larry Seidlin, whose otherwise compelling portrayal of a judge is deemed to have gone off the rails in the final act.

* And finally, Ellen DeGeneres will announce Sunday night that she has switched teams.

The Beachwood's continuing Oscars coverage starts here with our man on Sepulveda Boulevard setting the stage.

Storm Warning
Area emergency medical personnel have been put on high alert this weekend and told to expect an influx of patients from the broadcasting industry suffering from hyperventilation.

Bears Meltdown
The Bears deny rumors that they have been in and out of rehab three times this week, though team officials admit they have shaved their heads because it's the only way to get media attention in the off-season.

Campaign Chat
The Weekend Desk will continue to investigate rumors that there is a mayoral election on Tuesday.

Royal Succession
With Prince Harry on his way to Iraq, Richard M. Daley becomes third heir to the throne - though Princes William and Charles aren't expected to survive challenges to their nominating petitions and will likely be knocked off the ballot.

Ace Not In Hole
The Weekend Desk will continue to investigate rumors that Ace Frehley is not dead.

Weekend Reading
* Catch up on The Papers.

* Catch up on Obama.

* From the vault: The Hostess Pie Magician Is Dead.


Posted on February 24, 2007

MUSIC - It's Us Against The Motherfucking Machine.
TV - From Kerner To King.
POLITICS - Beachwood Radio: Save The Spire, Ditch DePaul, Nuke The Luke.
SPORTS - Jay Cutler, Brandon Marshall And The Pope's Nose.

BOOKS - Abe Lincoln: Good For The Jews.

PEOPLE PLACES & THINGS - FEMA: Give The Gift Of Preparedness.

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