The Weekend Desk Report

1. Satire In The Muslim World: A Centuries-Long Tradition.

"Azhar Usman, a Sunni stand-up comedian working in Chicago . . . says his comedy heroes are Richard Pryor, George Carlin and a 13th-century Sufi saint named Mullah Nasreddin."

2. No More Sledding? Towns Are Closing Their Hills Because Of Liability Concerns.

Boo. The greatest sledding hill where I grew up was on the grounds of my elementary school. The school was at the bottom of the hill. I can't remember anybody ever slamming into the school, but we sure tried.

3. A Conversation With A Teenager Who 'Doesn't Know' Who Paul McCartney Is.

4. The Bears' Two And A Half Men Make Their Move.

George & Ted's Half-Assed Adventure. Plus: Spelling Derrick Rose Without The 'D'; The NFL Playoff Spread; South Side Cubs; and The Blackhawks Are Who We Thought They Were.

5. Azealia Banks vs. Lupe Fiasco.

Emotional bitches, Lupe? Really?

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The Sound Opinions Weekend Desk Listening Report: "Veteran indie rockers Spoon return to Sound Opinions for a conversation and live performance of songs off their 8th studio album They Want My Soul."

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BeachBook
* Torture Of Saudi Blogger Sentenced To 10 Years And 1,000 Lashes Begins.

Our ally.

* Man Freed From Prison After 9 Years When FOIA Requests Reveal FBI Hid Documents.

Our heroes.

* Great Lakes Teeming With Tiny Plastic Fibers.

Our fault.

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TweetWood
A sampling.

This is hilarious! Guys pay attention to your girl or someone else will LOL! Chicago Bulls Kiss Cam FAIL: http://t.co/AoiDdOoui9

— Ingrid Hoyos (@IngridYHoyos) January 10, 2015

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#Bears GM Ryan Pace won't say how long his contract is.

— Adam Jahns (@adamjahns) January 9, 2015

Um, okay. Will he say how long he expects to keep that state secret from going public?

#Bears chairman George McCaskey said that GM Ryan Pace's contract is five years.

— Adam Jahns (@adamjahns) January 9, 2015

There ya' go. But really weird, Ryan.

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The Weekend Desk Tip Line: Timing is everything.

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