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Army Of Darkness
5 p.m.
A discount-store employee is time-warped to a medieval castle, where he is the foretold savior who can dispel the evil there. Unfortunately, he screws up and releases an army of skeletons. (
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I am open and receptive to new avenues of income. (
Knowing that a person may be unwittingly in danger of an assault imposes a moral duty to warn them.
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The Weekend Desk Report

Just to be clear, this isn't meant to be a full Report; rather, it's an homage to the spirit of Weekend Desk reporting.

Market Update
Cheer up, Zuckerberg. You only lost a metric shit-ton of money on paper.

Opening Night
With the 2016 Summer Olympics now officially Rio's problem, we're free to speculate on the celebration of culture that would've accompanied Chicago's Opening Ceremony. Clearly the night would've featured the senseless murder of at least one promising athlete.

Olympic Spirit
Not that the IOC would've acknowledged the killing.

Slower, Lower, Weaker
The 2016 Chicago Games also would've featured the Olympic debut of two new sports: Posturing and Evasion. The events would've extended the Games by approximately 45 minutes per day with no official explanation.

Finally this week, what's more disturbing? A blind archer or blind worship?


The Weekend Desk Tip Line: Now with mayo.


Beachwood Weekend Programming Note: These pieces were added to the site late Friday.

In Honor Of The Olympics, ProPublica Presents The Best Sports Investigative Reporting. Sports builds (bad) characters.

The Last Two Weeks In Chicago Rock. Duty called. Now we're catching up.

The 1980 Dance Fever Christmas Special. That happened, and we all let it happen.


The Sound Opinions Weekend Listening Report: "Lydia Loveless writes country songs with punk rock flair. She performs tracks from her latest release, Indestructible Machine, live in the studio. Plus Jim and Greg review new releases from Passion Pit and Mission of Burma."


The CAN TV Weekend Viewing Report: CAN TV brings you local, relevant issues from Chicago's neighborhoods and communities. See what's happening around the city in education, the arts, government, cultural events, social services and community activities.

4th Ward Headlines


Ald. Will Burns discusses education in the 4th Ward with Dr. Gregory Jones, principal of Kenwood Academy, and Derek Douglas of the University of Chicago.

Saturday, July 28 at 11 a.m. on CAN TV21
30 min


Best of Chicago Improv (aka Public Access: The Movie)


A compilation of comedy sketches written and performed by local talent putting the FUN in funny!

Saturday, July 28 at 6:05 p.m. on CAN TV19
1 hr 20 min


Perspectivas Latinas: Centro de Trabajadores Unidos


Ana Guajardo of the Centro de Trabajadores Unidos (Immigrant Workers' Project) explains their proposal for employers to follow a code of conduct that ensures fair working conditions for workers.

Saturday, July 28 at 7:30 p.m. on CAN TV21
25 min


Barack Obama: The Story


Author David Maraniss discusses his biography of President Obama, which draws from hundreds of interviews and troves of letters, journals, and other documents.

Saturday, July 28 at 8 p.m. on CAN TV21
1 hr 10 min


Getting Smarter on Crime


The Chicago Reader's Mick Dumke moderates a panel on current and future ways to divert defendants from detention safely and cost-effectively.

Watch Online

Sunday, July 29 at 9 a.m. on CAN TV21
2 hr


Shaping Our Future: Building a Latino Education Agenda


The Latino Policy Forum launches a new guide to Common Core Standards for teachers and educators with a special focus on multilingual and Latino students.

Sunday, July 29 at 11 a.m. on CAN TV21
2 hr 45 min


CREATE: Railroad Expansion


Experts and advocates share how conservation, green building, and investment in modernizing railroads can help revive blighted neighborhoods and promote community development in Chicago.

Sunday, July 29 at 2 p.m. on CAN TV21
2 hr


New Initiatives for Small Business Growth


Cook County Board President Toni Preckwinkle announces new initiatives aimed at stimulating economic growth and removing barriers for minority and women-owned small businesses.

Sunday, July 29 at 5 p.m. on CAN TV19
15 min


2011 TIF Report


Cook County Clerk David Orr releases figures on the state of Tax Increment Finance (TIF) districts in Chicagoland in 2011.

Sunday, July 29 at 5:30 p.m. on CAN TV19
20 min


Lathrop Homes Redevelopment Press Conference


Local officials and residents of a Northwest Side public housing complex discuss the impact of a planned redevelopment project on residents.

Sunday, July 29 at 6 p.m. on CAN TV19
1 hr


Posted on July 28, 2012

MUSIC - Millions Of New Guitar Players.
TV - "One America News" is AT&T.
POLITICS - When Wall Street Came To My Mobile Home Park.
SPORTS - Tonyball, Bears On The Run, Eyes On The Sky & More!

BOOKS - China Holding Swedish Publisher.


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