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Army Of Darkness
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A discount-store employee is time-warped to a medieval castle, where he is the foretold savior who can dispel the evil there. Unfortunately, he screws up and releases an army of skeletons. (
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The Weekend Desk Report

Natasha Julius is on a special assignment involving fracking, macking and phone-hacking. We hope to God she returns next week.

Market Update
Shares of the Canyonero fell sharply this week amidst revelations that it doesn't perform well in winter or in pursuit of criminals, which are kind of two of the most important factors in a Chicago police vehicle.

Driver's Ed
Maybe those Tahoes can be repurposed.


"A recent visit to a driving site revealed cars with strips of duct tape, busted taillights and several dents and depressions."

And that was just the teachers' parking lot.


Possibly ironic.


Whatever happened to walking a beat? It could save some cops some money.

Revenue Enhancements
Why stop here?

Greeting cards ($5): Congratulations on your recent zoning approval!

Autographed photos ($7.50): It was nice doing business with you! Sincerely, the Finance Committee

Manny's Groupon: 50 percent off your next lunch if 100 people who plead out a marijuana possession case buy in.

R. Kelly's Closet
Because Peach Panties was taken.

College Prep
The world's greatest college football report. For entertainment purposes only, including gambling.

Prank Props
A 30-foot long banner made by high school students in New Orleans in preparation for the Saints-Bears game on Sunday was stolen.


Police investigation going nowhere.

Saturday Night Live
I'm filling in tonight behind the bar at the venerable Beachwood Inn so stop in for a cold brew or two. Doors open at 3! I'll be there until 9 and then (almost certainly, unless it's totally dead) back at 11 until close - at 3! Bring your jukebox money.


The Weekend Desk Tip Line: Seats 35.


The CAN TV Weekend Report

The Sorcerer


The Gilbert and Sullivan Opera Company performs a comedic opera with accompaniment from the University of Chicago Chamber Orchestra.

Saturday, September 17 at 1:30 p.m. on CAN TV19
1 hr 41 min


Chinese Fine Arts Society Winners Concert


Young musicians perform classical music at the Preston Bradley Hall as part of the 26th Annual Winners Concert.

Saturday, September 17 at 5:30 p.m. on CAN TV19
2 hrs


Bucket Drummers of Berger Park


Chicago youth showcase their bucket drumming skills developed through a summer arts program held at Berger Park.

This program was made possible by a special partnership between the Chicago Park District, CAN TV & Chicago Moving Company.

Sunday, September 18 at 2:30 p.m. on CAN TV21
18 min


Posted on September 17, 2011

MUSIC - Millions Of New Guitar Players.
TV - "One America News" is AT&T.
POLITICS - When Wall Street Came To My Mobile Home Park.
SPORTS - Tonyball, Bears On The Run, Eyes On The Sky & More!

BOOKS - China Holding Swedish Publisher.


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