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The Weekend Desk Report

We're still hoping we won't have to publish this report for another six years or so. But just in case . . .

Market Update
You know, in about 12 to 15 years people are going to realize this whole complex mess could've been avoided if we'd just trusted the righteous God of Free Market Economics like our forefathers intended.

Blown Star
If the above scenario seems frightening, take heart. Analysts are quick to point out no one learns much of anything in Texas public schools anyway.

Stroke of Bad Luck
Investigators this week have discovered a hole spewing poison into the heart of one of our most treasured national institutions. Oh, and that thing in the Gulf is apparently pretty bad, too.

City of Big Shoes to Fill
The City of Chicago has acknowledged this week that it is named in a lawsuit brought by high-end luggage maker Coach. "Look at the bright side," city Department of Law spokeswoman Melissa Stratton was quoted as saying. "At least a recognizable name in the industry is giving our city the time of day again."

Eyes in the Skies
Meanwhile, despite the well-publicized loss of the 2016 Olympics, the Windy City remains determined to transform itself into London one surveillance camera at a time. However, city hall officials concede we might still be spared certain indignities.

Lo-Cannes Do
Finally this week, Lindsay Lohan magically escaped arrest by claiming her father stole her passport thereby preventing her return trip to Los Angeles from Cannes for a mandatory court date. The actress' representatives say she will appear in court on Monday, however, provided her dog doesn't eat her return ticket.


The Weekend Desk Tip Line: Dog eat dog.


Posted on May 22, 2010

MUSIC - Millions Of New Guitar Players.
TV - "One America News" is AT&T.
POLITICS - When Wall Street Came To My Mobile Home Park.
SPORTS - Tonyball, Bears On The Run, Eyes On The Sky & More!

BOOKS - China Holding Swedish Publisher.


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