Army Of Darkness
A discount-store employee is time-warped to a medieval castle, where he is the foretold savior who can dispel the evil there. Unfortunately, he screws up and releases an army of skeletons. (tvguide.com)
Rod of Love
The world of celebrity reality television was thrown into chaos this week as veteran camera whore Bret Michaels was hospitalized with a severe headache and apparent brain hemorrhage. Witnesses say the issues began shortly after Michaels received his subpoena to testify at the trial of Rod Blagojevich. "It's like his mind just exploded," a source close to the rocker was quoted as saying.
Fantasy Napoleonic League
While much of the nation's attention is focused on our home-grown little big man, there have been interesting developments elsewhere in the overcompensation league. Outside contender Robert Mugabe of Zimbabwe has joined forces with last season's rookie sensation Mahmoud Ahmadinejad of Iran. Together, the two form a coalition that some analysts say is already scarier - and slightly taller - than reigning champion Kim Jong-il of North Korea. For our money, though, we're keeping an eye on the dark miniature pony