Chicago - Oct. 18, 2018
Music TV Politics Sports Books People Places & Things
Must-See TV
Army Of Darkness
5 p.m.
A discount-store employee is time-warped to a medieval castle, where he is the foretold savior who can dispel the evil there. Unfortunately, he screws up and releases an army of skeletons. (
Weather Derby
Tribune: 51/37
Sun-Times: Ferro/McKinney
Weather Channel: 44/41
Ntl Weather Service: 54/43
BWM*: 82/12
Beachwood Bookmarks
K-Tel Classics
WKRP in Cincinnati
So You've Decided To Be Evil
St. Paul Saints
Nye's Polonaise Room
The Arcata Eye
Roadside USA
This Day In . . .
Onion History
Weird Al History
Baseball History
Beachwood History
History History
Spy Magazine History
#OnThisDate History
Under Suspicion
Find Your Towed Car
Cable TV Complaints
Freedom of Information
The Expired Meter
The Mob & Friends
Stolen Bike Registry
O'Hare Music Tracker
Report Corruption (city)
Report Corruption (state)
Scoundrels, State
Scoundrels, Federal
The Odds
Random Flight Tracker
Casting Calls
Cosmic Log
Buy Stamps
Beachwood Blogroll
A Handy List
Beachwood Ethics Statement
How We Roll
Today's Horoscope
Liberties will be taken.
Do We Sudoku?
No, but we do do moose stuff, and that can be anything you want it to be. Except Sudoku.
Losing Lottery Numbers
8, 25, 39
Daily Affirmation
I am open and receptive to new avenues of income. (
Knowing that a person may be unwittingly in danger of an assault imposes a moral duty to warn them.
Now Playing
Psychodrama/Marshall Law
Letters to the Editors
Tip Line
"The Papers" archive
Beachwood Link Buttons
Media Kit/Advertising

The Weekend Desk Report

Is that a tube of contraband toothpaste in your pocket, or are you just glad to see us?

Market Update
For some bizarre reason that no one can figure out, share prices in personal care manufacturing giant Proctor and Gamble had a sudden spike on Thursday. Analysts expect the trend to continue for the foreseeable future.

Risk Management
Health care experts cautioned this week that stringent air travel security measures could pose a threat to the health of passengers who use certain medications. As of this update, the new regulations still appear to be considerably less unhealthy than getting blown out of the fucking sky, but we'll keep an eye on the latest research for you.

Starting Young
Reflecting a worrying trend in American public life, it appears more teenagers are learning how to lie to officials. We trust that if confronted with evidence of their questionable honesty, these kids will remember that an incredible yet irrefutable claim of ignorance is the easiest excuse.

Rehab Redux
The parade of celebrities eager to blame substance abuse relapses for their shocking affronts to decency continued apace this week. It remains to be seen whether the public will forgive future transgressions.

High-Stakes Stakes
Finally, on the eve of one of the nation's premiere wagering events, we regret that we are unable to give you the latest odds on the Race to Destroy Western Civilization. We had Nazism installed as co-favorite with Communism, while Islamic Fundamentalism ran just behind Godlessness in fourth. However, a late rush by big-money punters to back the current War on Terror has thrown our line into disrepair. We apologize to our readers for any inconvenience.


Posted on August 11, 2006

MUSIC - Holiday Hullabaloo.
POLITICS - Bank Profits Soaring.
SPORTS - Chicago vs. Michigan, 1903.

BOOKS - Dia De Los Muertos Stories.

PEOPLE PLACES & THINGS - Chicagoetry: West Town Blues.

Search The Beachwood Reporter

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Follow BeachwoodReport on Twitter

Beachwood Radio!

Ask Me Anything!