Chicago - Aug. 19, 2017

Must-See TV
Army Of Darkness
ElRey
5 p.m.
A discount-store employee is time-warped to a medieval castle, where he is the foretold savior who can dispel the evil there. Unfortunately, he screws up and releases an army of skeletons. (tvguide.com)

Weather Derby
Tribune: 51/37
Sun-Times: Ferro/McKinney
Weather Channel: 44/41
Ntl Weather Service: 54/43
BWM*: 82/12

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K-Tel Classics
WKRP in Cincinnati
So You've Decided To Be Evil
St. Paul Saints
Nye's Polonaise Room
The Arcata Eye
Roadside USA

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Chicago
Indicted!
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Rats
Report Corruption (city)
Report Corruption (state)

Beyond
Scoundrels, State
Scoundrels, Federal
The Odds
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Today's Horoscope
Liberties will be taken.

Do We Sudoku?
No, but we do do moose stuff, and that can be anything you want it to be. Except Sudoku.

Losing Lottery Numbers
8, 25, 39

Daily Affirmation
I am open and receptive to new avenues of income. (louisehay.com)

Ellie
Knowing that a person may be unwittingly in danger of an assault imposes a moral duty to warn them.

Now Playing
Psychodrama/Marshall Law

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The Weekend Desk Report

By Natasha Julius

Why are we even here? It's not like anything exciting ever happens in this boring little shit town anyway.

Market Update
Reaction was mixed this week as Dimples announced strong short-term earnings in an uncertain economy. While the public has clearly embraced the news, analysts warn Dimples' rapid capacity expansion will have long-term impacts.

Bridge Report
In a tense rubber that saw North spectacularly overbid, South proved once and for all that Pele trumps Oprah.

Chicago-No
Wait a minute . . . does this mean we won't be getting our CTA ponies?

Chica-No-Go
Oh, right. Ponies weren't exactly a priority anyway.

Chica-Owe
For that matter, neither was paying people. Or serving and protecting them.

Chica-Woe
Buck up, Chicago. We may well be the most embarrassing place on earth right now, but we're far from being the most devastated.

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Posted on October 3, 2009