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The Weekend Desk Report

By Natasha Julius

The world ended last night, but we're still here covering the key stories.

Change Watch
Recovery took a bearish turn this week when analysts revealed nothing ever changes.

Single Ladies
Mercurial Libyan leader Muammar Gaddafi has taken a temperamental turn during his first official visit to Italy. Analysts say he is disappointed that his request to meet "Italy's finest ladies" has been so grossly misinterpreted.

Triumvirate Rumblings
It's been an active week amongst the three greatest threats to Western civilization. Any hopes that Paris Hilton may be ready to change her dissolute ways have been soundly crushed for the moment. Meanwhile, Britney Spears has announced she is ready, willing and able to make another push at proliferation. Not to be outdone, Lindsay Lohan has handled her recent troubles with a marathon round of retail therapy.

Modest Proposal
Skeptics have been quick to criticize President Obama's ambitious healthcare savings plan, but we at the Weekend Desk are more bullish. After all, there seems to be plenty of spare cash floating around all over the place.

Everyone's a Critic
House Republicans expressed outrage this week, comparing President Obama to Russia's controversial Vladimir Putin. "It's like he has to have an opinion on everything," seethed Virginia Rep. Eric Cantor. "He keeps going on and on about how bad The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3 is and he hasn't even seen the movie!"

Quite Pride
Finally this week, duh.


Posted on June 13, 2009

MUSIC - Madonna vs. Moderna.
TV - Sundays With The Military-Industrial Complex.
POLITICS - Private Equity In The ER.
SPORTS - Suspicious Betting Trends In Soccer.

BOOKS - China Holding Swedish Publisher.


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