Chicago - Oct. 18, 2018
Music TV Politics Sports Books People Places & Things
Must-See TV
Army Of Darkness
5 p.m.
A discount-store employee is time-warped to a medieval castle, where he is the foretold savior who can dispel the evil there. Unfortunately, he screws up and releases an army of skeletons. (
Weather Derby
Tribune: 51/37
Sun-Times: Ferro/McKinney
Weather Channel: 44/41
Ntl Weather Service: 54/43
BWM*: 82/12
Beachwood Bookmarks
K-Tel Classics
WKRP in Cincinnati
So You've Decided To Be Evil
St. Paul Saints
Nye's Polonaise Room
The Arcata Eye
Roadside USA
This Day In . . .
Onion History
Weird Al History
Baseball History
Beachwood History
History History
Spy Magazine History
#OnThisDate History
Under Suspicion
Find Your Towed Car
Cable TV Complaints
Freedom of Information
The Expired Meter
The Mob & Friends
Stolen Bike Registry
O'Hare Music Tracker
Report Corruption (city)
Report Corruption (state)
Scoundrels, State
Scoundrels, Federal
The Odds
Random Flight Tracker
Casting Calls
Cosmic Log
Buy Stamps
Beachwood Blogroll
A Handy List
Beachwood Ethics Statement
How We Roll
Today's Horoscope
Liberties will be taken.
Do We Sudoku?
No, but we do do moose stuff, and that can be anything you want it to be. Except Sudoku.
Losing Lottery Numbers
8, 25, 39
Daily Affirmation
I am open and receptive to new avenues of income. (
Knowing that a person may be unwittingly in danger of an assault imposes a moral duty to warn them.
Now Playing
Psychodrama/Marshall Law
Letters to the Editors
Tip Line
"The Papers" archive
Beachwood Link Buttons
Media Kit/Advertising

The Weekend Desk Report

We find ourselves, dear readers, once again staring into the abyss as we reach the weekend of Super Bore Sunday. Is it just us, or does the abyss seem a lot closer this year than it did a year ago?

Never fear. Our patented Distraction List is here to see you through the dark times. Here are our top suggestions to get you to the Big Game. Assuming, of course, you want to get there.

1. Run for Congress.

2. Watch the NHL All-Star Game. Oh, come on. You might actually give a crap this year.

3. Piss in the jury pool.

4. Drop a few pounds. Or maybe even a couple Euros.

5. Identify endangered species of fowl. And then, release them into the wild.

6. Say goodbye to a celebrated villain. Unless you already did that last weekend.

7. Beat this.

8. Dodge your taxes. We can recommend a decent accountant who'll be looking for work.

9. Backtrack.


Programming Note: We live-blogged Blago yesterday. Catch up with it here.

If further Blago news breaks over the weekend, check back here.

And by the way, once again the Beachwood oddsmakers got it right when they predicted Ed Genson would resign from Blago's criminal defense team. And that Justin Oberman's campaign in the 5th was going nowhere. And that Cheney would have to be wheeled out of the White House. See our updates.

Finally, a reminder that you can always catch up on past Papers and Weekend Desk Report columns in their special archival place where we keep them safe and warm.

UPDATE 8:41 A.M.: New photos just in from the Beachwood's official Eastern expedition. See our very own Michelle-Renee Perkins' Inauguration, USA.


Posted on January 24, 2009

MUSIC - Holiday Hullabaloo.
POLITICS - Bank Profits Soaring.
SPORTS - Chicago vs. Michigan, 1903.

BOOKS - Dia De Los Muertos Stories.

PEOPLE PLACES & THINGS - Chicagoetry: West Town Blues.

Search The Beachwood Reporter

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Follow BeachwoodReport on Twitter

Beachwood Radio!

Ask Me Anything!