The Weekend Desk Report

We've scored a bit of a coup here at the Weekend Desk as, apparently, we welcome LAPD Chief William Bratton to our Triumvirate of Terror bureau. While he monitors the West Coast, here are some of the stories the rest of us will be following.

Market Update
Analysts warn that the nation's mortgage crisis could yet deepen. The well-documented struggles of industry giant Freddie Mac reportedly have begun to impact the long-term prospects of Bernie Mac as well.

Mission Accomplished
President Bush this week announced that "major combat operations" have ended in his quest to bring peace to the Middle East before he leaves office. "If we just stay the course," he noted in his remarks, "a lasting solution is right around the corner."

Play Nicely
Eager to head off any emerging controversies, China this week pleaded for a politics-free Olympic campaign. Also eager to head off any emerging controversies, Barack Obama this week pleaded for a politics-free presidential campaign.

Oops! They Did It Again
In related news, a U.S. court agreed to extend China's custody over the always-controversial Britney Spears at least through the end of the summer.

I Want To Be Sedated
Finally this week, the FDA has rejected a drug designed to counteract the effects of anesthesia. Officials say the drug's side effects include a potentially violent allergic reaction to, you know, being awake.