Chicago - Oct. 15, 2018
Music TV Politics Sports Books People Places & Things
Must-See TV
Army Of Darkness
5 p.m.
A discount-store employee is time-warped to a medieval castle, where he is the foretold savior who can dispel the evil there. Unfortunately, he screws up and releases an army of skeletons. (
Weather Derby
Tribune: 51/37
Sun-Times: Ferro/McKinney
Weather Channel: 44/41
Ntl Weather Service: 54/43
BWM*: 82/12
Beachwood Bookmarks
K-Tel Classics
WKRP in Cincinnati
So You've Decided To Be Evil
St. Paul Saints
Nye's Polonaise Room
The Arcata Eye
Roadside USA
This Day In . . .
Onion History
Weird Al History
Baseball History
Beachwood History
History History
Spy Magazine History
#OnThisDate History
Under Suspicion
Find Your Towed Car
Cable TV Complaints
Freedom of Information
The Expired Meter
The Mob & Friends
Stolen Bike Registry
O'Hare Music Tracker
Report Corruption (city)
Report Corruption (state)
Scoundrels, State
Scoundrels, Federal
The Odds
Random Flight Tracker
Casting Calls
Cosmic Log
Buy Stamps
Beachwood Blogroll
A Handy List
Beachwood Ethics Statement
How We Roll
Today's Horoscope
Liberties will be taken.
Do We Sudoku?
No, but we do do moose stuff, and that can be anything you want it to be. Except Sudoku.
Losing Lottery Numbers
8, 25, 39
Daily Affirmation
I am open and receptive to new avenues of income. (
Knowing that a person may be unwittingly in danger of an assault imposes a moral duty to warn them.
Now Playing
Psychodrama/Marshall Law
Letters to the Editors
Tip Line
"The Papers" archive
Beachwood Link Buttons
Media Kit/Advertising

The Weekend Desk Report

While you're busy painting your face and munching popcorn this weekend, we'll be at our usual post.

Market Update
Snack futures took a beating this week, with miserable earnings reported on stocks of both salsa and chips. Meanwhile, the long-term strategic partnership between Beer and Pork looks likely to fizzle on the global market.

It's been a banner week for President Bush in his attempts to corral the global forces of terrorism. After an unqualified victory over notorious bad parent North Korea, the U.S. president said he felt sure sustained pressure would eventually coax even the recalcitrant Paris Hilton to settle down.

Moving On
President Bush did, however, concede he may soon give up on his long-term relationship with Lindsay Lohan, telling reporters, "I just don't think she's that into me anymore."

Patrol Control
Governor Rob Blagojevich has threatened to redeploy Illinois state police to Chicago in an attempt to fight the "out-of-control" crime that threatens so much of our fair state. In response, Chicago Police Superintendent Jody Weis politely noted he's quite confident his force can "smoke out" the main perpetrators.

Policy Shift
Finally this week, due to economic pressures facing the weekend satirical reportage industry, the Weekend Desk has decided to stop covering America's increasingly shrill and oversensitive political mini-scandals until they get a bit more, well, Cheeky.


Posted on July 19, 2008

MUSIC - Lyric Opera Strike Settled.
POLITICS - USA Today's Op-Ed Disaster.
SPORTS - SportsMonday: Come On, Vic!

BOOKS - Chicago Book Haul: The Dial.

PEOPLE PLACES & THINGS - Chicagoetry: West Town Blues.

Search The Beachwood Reporter

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Follow BeachwoodReport on Twitter

Beachwood Radio!

Ask Me Anything!