Chicago - Oct. 12, 2018
Music TV Politics Sports Books People Places & Things
Must-See TV
Army Of Darkness
5 p.m.
A discount-store employee is time-warped to a medieval castle, where he is the foretold savior who can dispel the evil there. Unfortunately, he screws up and releases an army of skeletons. (
Weather Derby
Tribune: 51/37
Sun-Times: Ferro/McKinney
Weather Channel: 44/41
Ntl Weather Service: 54/43
BWM*: 82/12
Beachwood Bookmarks
K-Tel Classics
WKRP in Cincinnati
So You've Decided To Be Evil
St. Paul Saints
Nye's Polonaise Room
The Arcata Eye
Roadside USA
This Day In . . .
Onion History
Weird Al History
Baseball History
Beachwood History
History History
Spy Magazine History
#OnThisDate History
Under Suspicion
Find Your Towed Car
Cable TV Complaints
Freedom of Information
The Expired Meter
The Mob & Friends
Stolen Bike Registry
O'Hare Music Tracker
Report Corruption (city)
Report Corruption (state)
Scoundrels, State
Scoundrels, Federal
The Odds
Random Flight Tracker
Casting Calls
Cosmic Log
Buy Stamps
Beachwood Blogroll
A Handy List
Beachwood Ethics Statement
How We Roll
Today's Horoscope
Liberties will be taken.
Do We Sudoku?
No, but we do do moose stuff, and that can be anything you want it to be. Except Sudoku.
Losing Lottery Numbers
8, 25, 39
Daily Affirmation
I am open and receptive to new avenues of income. (
Knowing that a person may be unwittingly in danger of an assault imposes a moral duty to warn them.
Now Playing
Psychodrama/Marshall Law
Letters to the Editors
Tip Line
"The Papers" archive
Beachwood Link Buttons
Media Kit/Advertising

The Weekend Desk Report

We have a feeling we'll go undrafted again this weekend, so that should leave plenty of time to watch the key stories.

Market Update
Apparently, it's our fault the dollar's in the shitter. We're just not thinking enough happy thoughts. Come on, people! Let's all take our government allowance and go buy some freakin' optimism!

The Nouveau Pauvre
With soaring fuel prices and food rations becoming a part of the daily experience, Americans are now hoping to grab a seat at the global poverty table. However, some of the Old Poor powerhouses have not been quick to welcome the new upstart. "Four dollars for gas? Please," sniffed the citizenry of Paris. "We were paying that way back in, like, 1954."

"Look, we're not saying they haven't earned their poverty," sub-Saharan Africa insisted, "It's just that you have to have something to lose it all, you know?"

Meanwhile, southern Asia bristled at the notion of an American food crisis. "Oh, that's rich," Bangladesh cried, "what do they spend on food anyway? Like, 9 % of disposable income? Seriously, that's pretty rich."

Fueling the Race
Incidentally, we think we have a pretty good idea where all that food is going.

No Such Thing as a Free Ride
In other news, duh.

Quality, Not Quantity
Finally this week, the Chicago Police Department has found a novel way to combat the appalling increase in gun violence over the past month: get more guns. But, you know, totally fucking bitchin' ones.


Posted on April 26, 2008

MUSIC - Lyric Opera Strike An Old Story.
POLITICS - USA Today's Op-Ed Disaster.
SPORTS - Beachwood Sports Radio: Kanye, Chili, Jimmy, Tarik.

BOOKS - Conway Barbour & The Black Middle Class.

PEOPLE PLACES & THINGS - Recall! Malone's Pork Head Cheese.

Search The Beachwood Reporter

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Follow BeachwoodReport on Twitter

Beachwood Radio!

Ask Me Anything!