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The Weekend Desk Report

You go recycle some hazardous household chemicals. We'll keep watch on the news,

Westward, Hos!
Earthquakes? Cougars? Johnny Flippin' Depp? It's obvious what's happened here, Chicago. We've gone to bed in Illinois and woken up in California. So, uh, how do we feel about this? Let's break down our new situation, piece by piece.

Governor
The new one was the Terminator. The other can't be terminated. This one's a romp, people.

Advantage: California

Weather
Sure, winter's a bitch. But who wants to be the Windy City with winds like these? It's a tough call, but cold and icy beats, you know, incinerated.

Advantage: Illinois

Washington Delegation
Our new junior senator may not be quite as sexy, but at least she has time to do her job instead of trying to find another one.

This one might come down to speakers of the house. Don't get us wrong; we've got no love for dear old Dennis, but the man was a wrestling coach for goodness sake. Spry little Nancy doesn't stand a chance.

Advantage: Illinois

Local Scandals
Yeah, let's see them try to move the Children's Museum to Golden Gate Park.

Advantage: California

Invasive Species
It's dysfunctional starlets and Africanized bees versus sleazy political godfathers and Frankenfish. Hey, at least Illinois has beaten back one kind of vermin. Maybe there's hope for the rest.

Advantage: Illinois

Final Tally
It was a pretty close fight, but ultimately it seems there's no place like home.

In memory of Bob Nelson. Thank you for making Chicago home.



Permalink

Posted on April 19, 2008


MUSIC - Blues Fest 2017.
TV - 'The Worst FCC I've Ever Seen.'
POLITICS - Minimum Wage Hikes Work.
SPORTS - On Joe Louis, Race And Sports Heroes.

BOOKS - The Blood Of Emmett Till.

PEOPLE PLACES & THINGS - Artist As Alchemist.


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