The [Wednesday] Papers
Give the gift of the Beachwood! You will be rewarded in Beachwood Heaven.
* The Tribune unironically uses the following quote from Phil Cline as among the year's best:
"He tarnished our image worse than anyone else in the history of the department."
Jon Burge? No. Anthony Abbate.
But then, the media too is more outraged over Abbate - an drunken off-duty cop who did a stupid thing but has not been shown to have engaged in systematic torture off black men deemed by a court to be de facto city policy - so it makes sense.
* The Sun-Times's best-dressed list of 2007 includes captions such as "In cobalt blue, [Halle] Berry could be a fertility goddess."
Which is nice because the photos are all in black-and-white.
* Every Sunday, Zay Smith devotes his Quick Takes column to items found on the Internet - a column whose Internet version contains no links.
* Neil Steinberg makes another startling confession: Until he was told by family members on Christmas Eve, he had no idea who Scott Skiles was.
Huberman is delusional, but what's worse is the paper's failure to note that the agency is underfunded - and mismanaged - by the mayor, whose name does not appear in the piece.
Regardless of the funding puzzle, the CTA is the mayor's responsibility. And if the mayor isn't exactly knocking heads in Springfield to get things resolved.
Like Steinberg's dominatrix story, it's been done - better. But they've got a helluva PR operation over there!
* "It's the only one of our construction jobs where no one complained about the old building being torn down," Donald Trump Jr. told Sneed.
"P.S.," Freidheim writes, "We would have taken this ad in your paper, but your rates are too high."
Memo to Cy: The Tribune's rates are higher because their paper is better, and thus can command higher rates. Having lower ad rates is nothing to brag about.
From The [Christmas Day] Papers
"The technical brilliance, unprecedented speed and hard-driving swing of Peterson's best work inspired generations of artists. But it also drove them to despair, for they knew Peterson's feats could not be matched, much less topped.
"Moreover, no place on earth forged a closer musical link to Peterson than Chicago."
* "It isn't just shopping mall Santas who lose their jobs on Christmas Eve," the Tribune reports. "Add Bulls coach Scott Skiles to a notable list of people who got fired the night before Christmas."
"Otherwise known as reverse shoplifting, shopdropping involves surreptitiously putting things in stores, rather than illegally taking them out, and the motivations vary.
"Anti-consumerist artists slip replica products packaged with political messages onto shelves while religious proselytizers insert pamphlets between pages of gay-and-lesbian readings at book stores.
"Self-published authors sneak their works into the 'new releases' section, while personal trainers put their business cards into weight-loss books and aspiring professional photographers make home made cards - their Web site address included, of course - and covertly plant them into stationery-store racks."
My favorite is this photo accompanied by this caption: "A Wal-Mart cashier tried unsuccessfully to check the price on an Anarchist action figure, an item the company does not sell."
Of course, shopdropping isn't just for Christmas.
We're here for you through the holiday. Settle in with our guide to the college bowl season and wager appropriately. Play the Bears Drinking Game to make watching them finish out their sorry season, um, bearable. And don't forget stocking stuffers for your favorite players.
Beachwood season greetings:
From the holiday vault:
- Home for the Holidays: Start from the bottom!
Beachwood Tip Line: Give and take.
Posted on December 26, 2007
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