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The [Wednesday] Papers

1. But Do They Stand For The Anthem?

"More than 22,000 fans packed the Barclays Center in Brooklyn this past weekend to watch the Overwatch League's first-ever Grand Finals," Seeking Alpha notes. "'I don't think any company has made the same commitment in resources, in talent, in people and capital that we have made to ensure that this is something truly incredible,' declared Activision Blizzard (NASDAQ:ATVI) CEO Bobby Kotick. Overwatch became the company's eighth billion-dollar franchise less than a year after its May 2016 release, following the likes of Call of Duty and World of Warcraft."



* Rosemont Teen A Million-Dollar Evil Genius.

* Are eSports The Next Major League Sport?

* Video Gamers May Soon Be Paid More Than Top Pro Athletes.

2. Newly Opened Urban Renewal Brewery In Chicago Lands In Tweet Storm Over 'Loaded' Name.

I mean, Razed IPA?

3. Chicago Bears Superfan Ashton Kutcher Ready For Hall Of Fame Game.

Could we please not do this?

4. Chicago Readies Arguments On Fiscal Gains As Investors Hit Town.

"For the first time since Emanuel's former CFO Lois Scott launched the conference, it is open to the press. In the past, the city only allowed coverage of Emanuel's speech."

5. Two From Chicago Among 103 Survivors Of Mexico Plane Crash.

* Des Plaines Priest: God Decided To Save Me, Though He/She/It Lets 151,600 People Die Every Day Because I'm Special And Deserving Of A Miracle For Some Reason That Isn't Ours To Wonder Why.

Reporters always latch on to these claims, forgetting the Golden Rule of Journalism: If God says He/She/It loves you, check it out.


Seriously, what if I survived a plane crash and told the media that I was saved by Satan, whom I prayed to as we were going down? Or that I simply used mind control to save myself because I can affect events just by thinking about them? Or does it have to be a Christian God kind of miracle to be taken seriously? In fact, I'm not sure I see Allah miracles in (mainstream media) headlines, why is that?


WLS-TV says "at least nine from Chicago-area" among the survivors. Busy day for God!


Wait, didn't God cause the crash in the first place? It was all a set-up so He/She/It could be a miracle-performing hero! There's a term for that.


I guess those who died were deserving, though, huh Des Plaines priest/media?

6. What Makes Evanston A Destination For Rug Stores?

7. Willie Wonka Wilson.

"The Illinois Campaign for Political Reform filed a formal complaint with the state today against Willie Wilson's mayoral committee for failing to disclose money spent by the Dr. Willie Wilson Foundation to promote his candidacy," the organization announced today.

Wilson gave away a reported $300,000, including personally handing out a significant amount of cash, at a July 22nd event in Chicago. The money was reportedly provided by Wilson's foundation, but the giveaway was promoted with a press release from Wilson's campaign spokesman and the event was streamed live on Wilson's campaign Facebook page.

ICPR believes the money spent by the foundation at the July 22nd event should have been disclosed as an in-kind contribution to the Wilson campaign because it was of material value to the campaign (the legal standard). Because the contribution was over $1,000, ICPR believes it should have been publicly reported on state campaign finance reports within 5 business days. That has not occurred. The complaint was filed with the Illinois State Board of Elections.

Plus, I never got the Willie Wilson t-shirt his campaign promised to me - in exchange for nothing, trust me! - four years ago.


Also, do you think Willie will help pay my rent?

Or should I try to sell him an ad on this site?

Oh, there I go, acting like so many others in town plucking the pigeon.

8. Trump May Slash Number Of Refugees U.S. Accepts By 40%.

* Willie Wilson voted for Trump, by the way. And Rauner.

9. Elk Grove Headline Bowl.

* Tribune: The Bahamas Bowl Has A New Sponsor: Elk Grove Village. Yes Really.


* SB Nation: Bahamas Bowl To Now Be Sponsored By Illinois Industrial Park, Not Popeyes (although it's a different headline once you click through).

Either way, Elk Grove Village's name is not in the title - just its (lame) slogan:



10. The Wording On These T-Shirts Are Slightly Wrong, And That's The Hilarious Point.

How 'bout one that says "Chicago Needs A White Mayor," then?


New on the Beachwood . . .

Welcome, Topcon!
Roadshow comes to Carol Stream.

Topcon Roadshow.jpg


Anxiety Bestsellers
This category is popping.



Underground Railroad TV
Take off your shoes, watch with a friend!

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Alternate Universe | SCOTUS, The Constitution, Freedom And Your Health
We stand at the crossroads of liberty or despotism. That much we agree on.






Best Customer Service Tips: Micro Goal #2 from Chicago Speaker.


A sampling.






The Beachwood Tronc Line: Sometimes shaming is the correct response.


Posted on August 1, 2018

MUSIC - Chief Keef Changed The Industry.
TV - Vizio's Best Product Is You.
POLITICS - UIC: Soda Taxes Work.
SPORTS - More McCaskey Malpractice.

BOOKS - All About Poop.


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