Chicago - Mar. 28, 2020

Must-See TV
Army Of Darkness
ElRey
5 p.m.
A discount-store employee is time-warped to a medieval castle, where he is the foretold savior who can dispel the evil there. Unfortunately, he screws up and releases an army of skeletons. (tvguide.com)

Weather Derby
Tribune: 51/37
Sun-Times: Ferro/McKinney
Weather Channel: 44/41
Ntl Weather Service: 54/43
BWM*: 82/12

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Today's Horoscope
Liberties will be taken.

Do We Sudoku?
No, but we do do moose stuff, and that can be anything you want it to be. Except Sudoku.

Losing Lottery Numbers
8, 25, 39

Daily Affirmation
I am open and receptive to new avenues of income. (louisehay.com)

Ellie
Knowing that a person may be unwittingly in danger of an assault imposes a moral duty to warn them.

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Psychodrama/Marshall Law

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The [Wednesday] Papers

By Steve Rhodes

Slouching toward 2015 . . .

1. Chicago Sports Anchor To Bears: Cut Jay Cutler Or Cut Your Wrists.

To be fair, I'm not sure if anchors write the chyrons.

2. Illinois Supreme Court Warning About Jury Duty Scam.

Whatever you do, don't call Captain Allen.

3. Rauner Might Rent While Mansion Repairs Are Made.

Can't he just sleep in his Trash Van?

4. Son Of Former Chicago Mobster Faces 2 Murder Charges In Idaho.

Michael S. Dauber, son of Billy.

5. Jay, Jay, Jay . . .

Another bad call.

Bonus Item: As part of Obama's Cuba deal, Cubs required to wear 1984 throwback jerseys this year.

The Weekend In Chicago Rock
Featuring: Black Joe Lewis, Red Dragon Cartel, The Birthday Massacre, Mr. Gnome, Danny Brown, Soft Speaker, The Head and the Heart, PHOX, Tyler the Creator, The Main Squeeze, The Heard, Adisent, Medeski Scofield Martin & Wood, Charlie Organaire and The Prizefighters, and Monty Neysmith and The Bishops.

BeachBook
* The Torture Report's Missing Female Victims.

* Harper's Bazaar Didn't Use Any Models Of Color On Their Cover This Year.

* How Sony Gets Its Way With The New York Times.

* A Baltimore City Paper Column Bosses Didn't Want Readers To See, Because Tribune.

* NYT Corrects: Pope Didn't Open Heaven To Pets.

* Malcolm Gladwell Is A Fraud.

* Health Costs: The New York Times Does It Again.

* Imprisoned Journalists In 2014.

TweetWood
A sampling.

Other than that, the @nytimes nailed it. pic.twitter.com/01reaBe2md
— CrimeInWrigleyville (@CWBChicago) December 16, 2014

.@BuzzFeedAndrew In the news world too.
— Beachwood Reporter (@BeachwoodReport) December 16, 2014

Biggest threat to the CIA wasn't al-Qaeda but the FBI explaining that the torture didn't work. http://t.co/SllY74k6s9 pic.twitter.com/zAVmycf1Z6
— Kenneth Roth (@KenRoth) December 16, 2014

Next Sunday's #Bears PR guy tweet: "In 2 mins Jay Cutler will hold press conf in bsmt of the Alamo" - Tim Willette
— Beachwood Reporter (@BeachwoodReport) December 16, 2014

"We don't need to go to Ferguson or New York to see police violence. This was torture capital of the country." @Alderman_Moreno
— Peoples Law Office (@PeoplesLawChi) December 16, 2014