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The [Wednesday] Papers

Am I glad Romney lost? Of course! Am I sad Obama won? Yes.

* Election Notebook: Big Blue.

* QT: 1,463 Days To Go.

* Dark Money And The 2012 Election.

Cell Bell Tolls
"Chicago-based wireless carrier U.S. Cellular said Wednesday that it is selling its Chicago, St. Louis and central Illinois markets, along with three others in the Midwest, to subsidiaries of Sprint Nextel Corp. for $480 million, the Tribune reports.

You can sell a market?

"The deal, which requires regulatory approval and is expected to close in mid-2013, will transfer PCS spectrum and about 585,000 customers - just under 10 percent of U.S. Cellular's subscribers - to Sprint. The markets account for about 11 percent of U.S. Cellular's service revenues."

Um, okay. Why?

"[To get] stronger by initially getting smaller," U.S. Cellular president Mary Dillon told the Tribune.

That's very phone company of you, Mary. Will there be an extra line charge on our bills for that?


"In the markets that U.S. Cellular is selling to Sprint, 'we aren't reaching the rate of profitable customer growth and return on investment we need to operate effectively,' Dillon said on a conference call."

Apparently we're not efficient enough around here. Plus, we churn a lot.


"As part of the transition, about 640 local jobs - 160 of them in Chicago proper - will be eliminated over time."

Rahm Emanuel was not available for comment; he was busy at the post office mailing off a bunch of election-related dead fish.


U.S. Cellular insists it will keep its name on the White Sox' ballpark, but it seems inevitable that won't last. Thankfully, we have former Fox Chicago broadcast personality Kelly Kraft to navigate a new deal for us.

Thirty-Seven Shades Of Grey
A better idea is a museum to failed Block 37 ideas. There are at least 37 of them. Give each one its own floor.

Bud Dud
Budweiser is planning a drunkier beer.

I have a better idea: More taste, less douchey

Can Kings
"Rexam, a global leader in beverage can manufacturing, recently produced its 100-millionth 24 oz. can for The Genesee Brewery - one of the oldest and continually operating breweries in the U.S.," the company announced today.

Rexam has Chicago and Buffalo Grove facilities.

Rexam's cans.

The Blue & Orange Kool-Aid Report
Iron Fists, Garbage Pails And Texans.

Fantasy Fix
Bench Cutler.


The Beachwood Tip Line: More filling, less taste.


Posted on November 7, 2012

MUSIC - Madonna vs. Moderna.
TV - Sundays With The Military-Industrial Complex.
POLITICS - Private Equity In The ER.
SPORTS - Suspicious Betting Trends In Soccer.

BOOKS - China Holding Swedish Publisher.


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