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The [Wednesday] Papers

"The Merchandise Mart has emerged as the likely destination of Google Inc., which is in talks for a lease that could exceed 500,000 square feet and would allow the technology behemoth to put a new stamp on the 82-year-old structure," Crain's reports.

"If it completes a deal, the Mountain View, Calif.-based company would become the largest tenant in the largest office building in Chicago.

"At Google's request, [Vornado Realty] would add a roof deck on the 4.2-million-square-foot Merchandise Mart, giving Google employees spectacular views along the Chicago River."

Also among Google's demands: Ping pong tables, a gym and your privacy.


The Mart is already the home to new tech hub 1871, which is a pretty crappy name for a venture innovating for the present and future. It also references a tragedy - the Great Chicago Fire - even though it's supposed to represent the city's recovery; you know, the grit and determination and coding it took to rise from the literal ashes.


Calling it first: The Geek Mart.


P.S.: "Google already leases more than 100,000 square feet nearby at 20 W. Kinzie St., where it employs about 450 sales and tech workers."

Selective Enforcement
"The Quinn administration is gearing up to hire a company to check the eligibility of Medicaid patients, a key part of a plan to cut $1.6 billion a year from the health insurance program for the poor," Crain's reports.

Also, neither the Quinn nor Emanuel administrations are hiring companies to check the eligibility of tax subsidy and TIF recipients. They already know most don't qualify.

Got Pot?
Rahm Emanuel makes Cannabis Culture.


"To appease squeamish aldermen, Emanuel said he plans to earmark revenue from his proposal to educate schoolchildren on the dangers of drug and tobacco use," the Sun-Times reports. "The money would come from the $100-to-$500 tickets that would be issued to people caught with 15 grams or less or marijuana."

There's a better way to appease squeamish aldermen, Rahm. Anything else is a waste of money.


Seriously, news reports should tell us how much 15 grams is. The uninitiated have no idea what this standard of enforcement entails. A joint generally has half a gram, though obviously there are no rules. You're probably talking 20 to 30 joints here. Or one Chonger.


Former police chief Phil Cline expressed his skepticism to the Sun-Times:

"What do you do with the marijuana? The officer still has to come off the street to inventory it. Does the officer keep it until their tour is over, then go into the station? Are they gonna test the marijuana before you go to the hearing to make sure it really is marijuana? If they don't test it, the person is gonna say it was oregano and get off. All those questions have to be answered. It's not as easy as writing tickets."

A) The officer has to come off the street now. Under this proposal, that's where it ends - no costly arrests and prosecutions that mostly go nowhere.

B) My guess is that anyone who pays the ticket admits to their guilt just like a parking ticket. Wanna fight the ticket? Take it to an administrative hearing.


Bridgeport Ald. James Balcer also unhelpfully weighed in:

"Could this lead to legalizing [marijuana]? Could it lead to more problems than we have with it - health issues, too? Let's be honest. Smoking isn't good for your health. Pot may be worse."

Yeah, not so much. And that doesn't even address cancer.

Electing James Balcer, however, has been proven to be hazardous to our health.


North Side Ald. Tim Cullerton also brought his brilliance to the proceedings:

"I'd like to see the people who smoke grass go out and cut the grass at vacant buildings."

If that's a joke, you need new writers, alderman.

"Do some physical community service work that's meaningful, instead of just getting off with a minor fine."

A) I'm not sure most people see a $100 to $500 fine "minor."

B) Isn't the city enforcing its already-existent Vacant Property Guidelines?

Get on it, alderman.

One-Trick Tony
In Fantasy Fix.

Chicago Dude Update
Illuminati not after him after all.

"New Belgium Brewing has selected Perkins+Will, a Chicago-based architectural firm, to design its upcoming brewery at a 17.5 acre brownfield site in North Carolina," Drinks Business Review reports . . . Their task: Make the brewery "sustainable" . . . Stay away from Norman and Johnson and their "prestigious Chicago address in the Quaker Oats Building right off West Wacker Drive" . . . Apparently it's a scam . . . Former Bear Alonzo Spellman was "released from the Tulsa County Jail after pleading no contest to a variety of charges . . . though to the Ohio media Spellman is a "former Buckeye" . . . "Police Capt. Marc Buslik said some Chicago police officers are allegedly working at the Congress while off duty, a violation of department policy," the Tribune reports . . . I was under the impression that coppers often took off-duty security assignments to make an extra buck . . . Clarify, please! . . . A survey conducted in part by a University of Chicago pediatrician found that "More than 50 percent of resident doctors report that they have worked at least once when they were sick with flu-like symptoms . . . ewww! . . . turn your head to the side and cough while I touch your balls with my clammy, fluey hands . . . "People in Chicago will have the rare chance to touch a nearly 4-billion-year-old piece of moon rock at NASA's Driven to Explore traveling exhibit, a multimedia experience that immerses visitors in the story of NASA. The exhibit will be at the Adler Planetarium from 9:30 a.m. to 6:30 p.m. Wednesday, June 20, and from 9:30 a.m. to 10 p.m. Thursday, June 21."


The Beachwood Tip Line: Ahem.


Posted on June 20, 2012

MUSIC - Chief Keef Changed The Industry.
TV - Vizio's Best Product Is You.
POLITICS - UIC: Soda Taxes Work.
SPORTS - More McCaskey Malpractice.

BOOKS - All About Poop.


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