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The [Wednesday] Papers

1. Calling all chubby children, toothless men and people with pick-up trucks.

2. Breaking News From Fox Chicago: "Acting Police Superintendent Garry McCarthy: Fighting Crime #1 Priority."


In other developments, acting schools chief Jean-Claude Brizard declares educating children his top priority; environmental head will focus on environment; and Ed Burke will put accumulating wealth first.

3. "Hershey is punching tiny holes in its iconic candy bar. Nestle is bringing Skinny Cow to the candy aisle. Wrigley is coming out with apple pie gum. Mars is stuffing vitamins and minerals into snack bars. And in case you missed them, Jelly Belly is bringing back rotten-egg jelly beans," Ad Age reports.

"In a sugary stampede, candy makers big and small are rushing hundreds of new products to market this year hoping the innovations will bring sweet profits. And no wonder: New product launches helped propel the $26 billion sweets and snacks industry to 2.5% growth in the year ending April 17, which is about double the growth of all grocery categories, according to SymphonyIRI.

"So the industry is in a rather celebratory mood this week as it gathers for the annual National Confectioners Association's Sweets & Snacks Expo in Chicago. Marketers are showing off more than 2,000 new offerings in a trade show that covers three acres and attracted some 14,000 manufacturers and candy buyers - not to mention the Peep chick, the M&M gang and dozens of other candy mascots roaming the convention hall, where the smell alone is enough to give you a sugar buzz."

4. "A Chicago lawyer wants a judge to exclude a buxom woman from the opposing counsel's table at an upcoming trial over a car dealership's warranty on a used Cadillac," the ABA Journal reports.


From the lawyer's motion:

"Defendant's counsel is anecdotally familiar with the tactics and theatrics of plaintiff's counsel. Such behavior includes having a large breasted woman sit next to him at counsel's table during the course of the trial. There is no evidence whatsoever that this woman has any legal training whatsoever, and the sole purpose of her presence at plaintiff's counsel's table is to draw the attention of the jury away from the relevant proceedings before this court, obviously prejudicing the defendants in this or any other cause."

5. "Artist LeRoy Neiman and his wife are giving $5 million to the School of the Art Institute of Chicago for a new student center," AP reports.

"Neiman and Janet Byrne Neiman both attended the school. In a news release, the school says the money will help fund what will be called the LeRoy Neiman Center."


"An extraordinary, very early Neiman painting depicting Chicago's colorful cabaret nightlife at the Clover Leaf Lounge - 48" x 72" Oil on Board, 1956." (Amico1too)


6. Derrick Rose not valuable enough.

7. Chicago Does Dylan, Part 2.

8. Wow, remember when this guy was getting benched against the Blackhawks?

9. Measles Case Causes [Iowa] To Declare Health Alert.

"[P]eople who might have been exposed include passengers on an American Airlines flight from Chicago to Des Moines May 11."

10. "In the course of over-thinking, I underestimated several players who have gone on to be fantasy stars this season," our very own Dan O'Shea writes in this week's Fantasy Fix. "In the interest of self-flagellation, here's my All-Underestimated Team so far this season."


The Beachwood Tip Line: Flagellate.


Posted on May 25, 2011

MUSIC - Millions Of New Guitar Players.
TV - "One America News" is AT&T.
POLITICS - When Wall Street Came To My Mobile Home Park.
SPORTS - Tonyball, Bears On The Run, Eyes On The Sky & More!

BOOKS - China Holding Swedish Publisher.


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