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The [Wednesday] Papers

We'll be continuously updating this column today and tonight as conditions warrant.

*

NEW 4:48 P.M.: From the del Valle campaign:

"Mayoral Candidate Miguel del Valle Traverses Storm to Preserve Perfect Attendance Record at Forums: Says blizzard won't stop him from fulfilling duties at City Hall or on campaign trail today."

Too bad he's not running for mailman!

*

NEW 4:13 P.M.: By Eliza Moeller.

bwsnow1.jpg

*

bwsnow2.jpg

*

NEW 2:43 P.M.: New court ruling: Inability to claim Dibs proves Rahm isn't a resident!

*

"'Kass would expect me to go into my basement and get a broken chair and put it in front of my house,' Emanuel told guests at a fundraiser the other evening as the snowstorm was gathering.

"But the poor guy still can't get to those chairs and claim a street parking space because he rented his house, remember?"

TIM: I wish I'd put them in my living room two years ago!

*

NEW 12:05 P.M.: John Kuczaj via Facebook:

Forecast for Chicago:

CNN: Blizzard conditions, keep watching CNN for more details. Please. We have Piers Morgan now

MSNBC: Huge storm will hit with Karl Rove-like force. By Wed, city will be a colossal mess dwarfed only by the mess Sarah Palin makes of the English language

FOX NEWS: Obama-fueled Nazi blitzkrieg Snolocaust to rain down against the voters' wishes, killing thousands of jobs and adding to the deficit

*

Idiot in the parking lot across the alley is stuck and trying the "Floor mats under the front wheels" trick. As usual...isn't working. Maybe he should go inside his building and get a damn shovel???

*

NEW 11:51 P.M.: A Beachwood e-mail exchange.

STEVE: Coincidence? Daley pledges not to run again. Mubarak pledges not to run again. Yemeni president pledges not to run again . . .

TIM: Rahm always intended to return to Cairo, too.

*

NEW 10:41 A.M.: The Cars of the Chicago Blizzard of 2011.

*

"Ramirez said he was outraged that earlier he had seen no sign of police or emergency officials on Lake Shore Drive."

TIM: If only they'd given us some warning!

STEVE: They should be stranded here with the rest of us!

TIM: "Separately, Punxsutawney Phil predicted motorists on Lake Shore Drive would be stranded for six more hours."

*

STEVE: We'll be here all night. And so will they!

*

TOM SKILLING: We expect rapidly deteriorating conditions.

TIM: But enough about politics - turning to the weather . . .

-

From @BeachwoodReport last night:

Instead of luxury tax, #Chico proposes #Rahm just keep a swear jar in his office.

*

T-shirt idea: I Survived Media Coverage of the #Blizzard of 2011.

*

If Jay #Cutler is too hurt to shovel snow, why is he healthy enough for a snowball fight?

*

#Chico says #Rahm would tax snow shovel purchases; Rahm says only luxury snow shovels.

*

Warning: Chicago parking meters must still be fed during #blizzard according to secret lease terms negotiated by Daley.

*

#Blizzard must be bad - Gangster Disciples just canceled tomorrow's shootings.

*

#Chico says #Rahm would tax snowblower purchases; #Rahm says only luxury snowblowers.

*

The Weather Channel feeling its oats; just endorsed #Rahm for mayor.

*

Lake Shore Drive closed due to #blizzard; stranded news crews threaten to annoy us to death if not rescued.

*

The wind is blowing out at Wrigley tonight.

*

#Blizzard Alert: Officials advise travel by emergency vehicles and Tamale Guy only.

State of Emergency
Quinn orders non-essential state employees to stay home; only Mike Madigan to show up for work.

World Gone Wrong
"Monster Cyclone's Wind, Rain Begin To Batter Australia: Tens of thousands stock up on food and hunker down in shelters ahead of Cyclone Yasi; With gusts of 186 mph, it's the strongest storm to hit the area in almost a century."

*

Remember, though: Cyclones spin the other way around down there.

Political Implications
* "Braun Tries To Calm Latest Storm." Mistook snow for crack.

* Rahm: I Will Only Tax Luxury Snow.

* Chico: I Personally Dug Out Entire City When I Was Daley's Chief of Staff.

* Del Valle Issues Entirely Sensible Snow Plan That Everyone Ignores

* Watkins: Okay, I Was A Crack Addict, If That's What It's Gonna Take To Get Your Attention

* Walls: It's Snowing Out.

U.S. Snow Sculpting Championship
Starts in Lake Geneva today.

Snomanslandocalypse
In the fantasy sports world.

Chicago Road Trip Singalong
This is good, folks.

The Wages Of "Pragmatism"
Human rights conditions deemed unrealistic when it comes to U.S. aid to Egypt.

-

The Beachwood Tip Line: Sing along.



Permalink

Posted on February 2, 2011


MUSIC - Blues Fest 2017.
TV - The Queen's Speech.
POLITICS - Psychopath CEOs Destroy Value.
SPORTS - Why Todd Frazier Should Lead Off.

BOOKS - The Fresh Air Fund's Complicated Racial Record.

PEOPLE PLACES & THINGS - The Great Lakes Have Tsunamis.


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