The [Wednesday] Papers
By Steve Rhodes
When I first heard the news that the city would shut down North Michigan Avenue for Oprah, it didn't strike me as out of line. So traffic will be fucked-up for a few hours. Big deal.
But three days?
I didn't realize until this morning that the shut-down will last that long.
The mayor, as usual, was incomprehensible in his defense of the move.
"I wish we could do this every day in Chicago," the mayor spluttered.
Do what every day, tape an Oprah show downtown?
"It's very, very important. What other cities do it?"
Um, Peoria? I mean, isn't it kind of a small-town thing to do?
"Take New York City. Take Los Angeles . . . For the filming industry, they do this every day, unfortunately."
To be very frank, that makes no sense.
"I wish your media outlets would do something like this. Hello?"
Um . . . huh? You mean you wish the Tribune Company would broadcast, say, CLTV from Michigan Avenue? And you would shut down the street for that?
"This is a great opportunity for us. It's called film production."
I think it's called a TV show.
But whatever. Unfortunately.
Just think: If the mayor had announced at the outset that he would back the bid with a blank check from taxpayers, the bid might not have even gotten out of the gate.
Instead, he lied.
And re-jiggered his propaganda machine.
And now the city council - which had previously agreed to cap the city's liability at $500 million - is poised to sign off on that blank check.
Truly, Obama should have put Daley in charge of health-care reform. We'd all be at our doctors offices right now loading up on meds and scheduling elective surgeries.
Mr. Daley, you are a dark figure whom history will study for a long time.
Why yes, come to think of it, I haven't heard much about the potential benefits of hosting the games here!
Where has the media been on this?!
"There are, of course, the thousands of jobs for Chicagoans that will come with a successful bid."
"And the boost to Chicago's international reputation - essential for drawing tourists and businesses."
"And perhaps most importantly, the sea change tha twill come to the near South Side with a successful Olympic Village development."
"Reasonable people can debate the dollar figure of those benefits, but that there will be a positive impact shared by generations to come seems certain."
Based on . . . what? Pat Ryan's visit to your boardroom yesterday?
"As a newspaper, we can't state it more clearly: We are enthusiastically behind the Games coming to Chicago in 2016."
And that's why your reporting sucks so bad.
What a wank.
"I'll use the same description I employed in 1995 when I was the first person to officially ride the Ferris Wheel: It's very cool."
Well, the Navy Pier people certainly know who to go to for their exclusives.
Seems the first thing Betty Loren-Maltese bought upon her release from prison was a set of false eyelashes.
And that's not all.
"Betty is anxious to get to work . . . and after two bus rides in 120-degree heat to a library to use their computers, she encountered a long computer line,"
Wanna pipe some PR into the Sun-Times? There are multiple apps for that. They're called the phone extensions of the paper's columnists.
"This is a decision I made talking to my God."
In July, Sims co-sponsored a measure to do the same thing she just voted against.
God must have been busy that day.
"Park district officials say they don't know."
Stealth Stimulus Lobbying
Season of Discontent
Let's Play None
The Beachwood Tip Line: God-like
Posted on September 2, 2009
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