The [Wednesday] Papers
I guess I'll be the one wearing all black today. My poor Twins. Such a cute little team. And very nice people.
But a tip of the cap to the White Sox. Our very own Ricky O'Donnell has more in The White Sox Report.
"If you're not creative in an economic crisis for your city," Mayor Daley said, "where are you gonna get the infrastructure money to compete?"
So . . . we get our infrastructure money by selling our infrastructure?
"Roughly $1.3 billion of the proceeds will be used to pay off Midway Airport debt. State law requires 90 percent of the $1 billion profit to be used to bankroll city infrastructure projects and shore up under-funded city employee pension funds.
"That leaves $100 million to be spent at the mayor's discretion."
Oversight is for Wall Street!
"But, he's not about to use it on payroll."
"John Schmidt, the former Daley chief of staff now serving as counsel to the city on the Midway deal, has already been paid $1.7 million in legal fees and stands to get $1.5 million more when the airport deal closes."
If I've done my math right, that's a $3.4 million payday. Nice work if you can get Daley to let you get it.
And how does a private operator make money on an airport?
"Parking rates likely to skyrocket and food, retail costs will increase, too."
So a Coke at Midway will probably go for about $9, beers for $14. Small lite beers, that is. In plastic cups.
The insults to our intelligence are free, however.
"You don't make money by charging higher prices," Schmidt said.
Then how did you make yours? Volume?
"You make money by offering people more opportunity. People may drink more. But I don't think they'll pay more for their drinks."
So the real profit opportunity to be exploited here is more airport drunkenness?
Hey John, call me - I have a wager for you. If prices don't go up at Midway, I'll pay you another $3.4 million. If they do, you can pay me just $34,000. Let's shake on it.
PLAYBOY: Some older male comics like Jerry Lewis have argued that women aren't funny. Does it piss you off, or is it easy to ignore?
FEY: The only people I've heard say that are Jerry Lewis and Richard Roeper. That's not a strong showing. Yeah, Richard Roeper is hi-larious. Remember his radio show? Me neither."
Here's more on the dust-up in real time from Chicagoist.
UPDATE: 1:15 P.M.: Oops, forgot that I wanted to include this monstrosity from Christopher Hitchens making the same argument about women lacking in the gifts of humor.
Millennium Park Blues
Our Congressmen At Work
Can we dock his pay?
First, I seriously doubt the governor has ever paused to consider what Lou Piniella would do when it's come time to, say, decide on a budget or whether to veto a bill. Name just one time, governor.
Second, what would Lou do?
A) He would shuffle his cabinet on a daily basis
Wait a second, maybe the governor is on to something after all.
Face of America
But after he "read the data from the instant surveys" - and now doubt checked in on some of the developing punditry - he discovered he was wrong when he was thinking on his own.
Similarly, Josh Kalven of Progress Illinois - a blog sponsored by the Service Employees International Union to further its political agenda - wrote on Monday of the "emerging narrative" of the debate that occurred on Friday when, you know, the narrative had not yet emerged.
CORRECTION 1:15 P.M.: Josh's post went up Saturday at 5:59 P.M.; it was featured in the Progress Illinois daily e-mail alert on Monday. My mistake.
I wonder if she'll do this bit:
"Now you got Uncle Women, like Sarah Palin, who jumps on the shit and points her fingers at other women. Turncoat bitchh! Don't you fuckin' reference Old Testament, bitch! You stay with your new Goyish crappy shiksa funky bullshit! Don't you touch my Old Testament, you bitchh! Because we have left it open for interpre-ta-tion! It is no longer taken literally! You whore in your fuckin' cheap New Vision cheap-ass plastic glasses and your hair up. A Tina Fey-Megan Mullally brokedown bullshit moment."
Or better yet, the one where she says that if Sarah Palin ever comes to Manhattan, she will be "gang-raped by my big black brothers."
Oh, you're encouraged to attend Bernhard's Steppenwolf shows in costume, so, you know . . . Enjoy!
The Beachwood Tip Line: Goyish shiksa funk welcome.
Posted on October 1, 2008
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