The [Wednesday] Papers

Pat Ryan, the insurance impresario and civic titan leading the city's Olympic effort, is presumably a pretty smart guy. So I imagine him reading stories like "Olympic Boss Doubts Violence Will Affect 2016 Bid" and thinking, man, they'll just print anything I say! Because he's never going to say something like, "Yes, come to think of it, I do think the recent violence will hurt our Olympic bid." Or "Yes, come to think of it, I do think our mess of a transit system will hurt our Olympic bid." Or "Yes, come to think about it, ongoing police brutality and political corruption will hurt our Olympic bid." So can we please stop asking him whether every spate of bad news in the city will adversely affect Chicago's Olympic bid?

U R LAME
Plz stp tking U R bing clvr whn U do ths.

CTAnal
I was on Chicago Tonight last night talking about Amy Jacobson and - separately - the newsroom cuts at the Tribune. Before our segment, CT ran a brief report about the mayor's latest plans for the CTA, including power gumwashers, which looked to me to be high-pressure sprays that also presumably used some super chemical gum-removal formula.

You know, public gum can be a nuisance, but it's only in a far more perfect world that this should even begin to get anyone's attention at the CTA given the scope of their problems. And yet, there was the mayor saying that "Cleanliness is the top priority." Otherwise, he said, people in suits wouldn't use the CTA.

Perhaps. But I think people who have jobs and meetings and appointments would be far more likely to use the CTA if they thought it would get them to where they were going on time.

Crystal Ball
* "Olympic Boss Doubts Today's Congestion on the Kennedy Will Affect 2016 Bid."

* "Olympic Boss Doubts Cubs Loss Will Affect 2016 Bid."

* "Olympic Boss Doubts Failure of CHA Will Affect 2016 Bid."

* "Olympic Boss Doubts Fewer Starbucks' Will Affect 2016 Bid."

* "Olympic Boss Doubts Lame Hometown Cheerleading Press Will Affect 2016 Bid."

Er, wait a second . . .

All in the Family
"Morgan Stanley, the New York financial giant that employs one of Mayor Daley's nephews, has been picked to help the Cook County Board borrow $150 million to get by until the county's 1 percent sales-tax increase starts flowing into the treasury," the Sun-Times reports.

"It's the first deal between the county and Morgan Stanley since the company hired William Daley Jr. - a nephew of the mayor and Cook County Commissioner John Daley - to help win business."

So . . . Morgan Stanley hired William Daley Jr. to help win business from Cook County. And Billy Jr. gets a cut. Perfect.

"Over the last year, William Daley Jr. has met with County Board President Todd Stroger and his top two assistants - his chief financial officer, Donna Dunning, and former chief of staff Lance Tyson.

"'Yes, he made stops to see me,' Dunning said of Bill Daley Jr. 'But he is not working in a senior position. He accompanied William Mack, who is the senior manager for Morgan Stanley. He was there in a junior position.'"

Oh, well that's different then. He was just there in a junior position. William Mack was in the senior position.

"Mack was a longtime aide to imprisoned former Gov. George Ryan. Five years ago, Mack, granted immunity from prosecution, testified about directing other state employees to shred documents that Ryan and his campaign manager Scott Fawell feared could be seized by federal agents."

And so it goes!

Ryan's Response
"Olympic Boss Doesn't Think Daley Nepotism Will Affect 2016 Bid."

P.S.
"Olympic Boss Doesn't Think Jailed Governors Will Affect 2016 Bid."

Taste of Violence
Yes, you could make the argument that policing the Taste of Chicago is a test in crowd control. But really, by 2016 the city will have surveillance cameras wired into our brains - and we'll have to pay an annual fee for the city sticker that we'll be required to plaster on them.

Jacobson's Justice
The Sun-Times editorial board doesn't think Amy Jacobson's lapse in judgement should cost her her TV career. Q: Would the Sun-Times hire a reporter who brings her kids to the home of a murder suspect and, by the way, shares her reporting with the cops?

Wait, don't answer that.

Swimsuit Lawsuit
I encourage readers to take a trip through Jacobson's lawsuit against Channel 2, which you can find here at Change of Subject. I'm pressed for time this morning, but I'll try to highlight my favorite parts tomorrow - including her college GPA!

Comedy Gold
"Police: Suspect Tried To Rob Bar With Cheese Grater."

Local Reaction
"Olympic Boss Doesn't Think Cheese Grater Robbery Will Affect 2016 Bid."

The Beachwood Tip Line: Lactose intolerant.